There and Back Again

After a two week experiment with trying a different approach to education, we are back to The Rivendell School for both of my children.
The experience of listening, trying something new, expanding our horizons, and finding our place again has been well worth the stress.
I am amazed at how much I have learned in the past two weeks. It is apparent that my children have learned a lot as well. Of course, I am not talking about academic learning - but learning of the spirit. We have had some fabulous conversation, soul searching, and self-examination. All of this has been very tiring, but very productive as well.
We are now ready to meet the bend in the road with new enthusiasm and direction. A lot of growing up, grieving, and letting go has happened in a few short weeks.
And... here we are... together again for a new school year. It feels like we are starting fresh - like we never went to school for 3 weeks in one paradigm and then 2 in another. It all feels new. In a way, it is. We have left our old curriculum behind. We are embracing a new part of our journey together and we are wiser for having spent this time exploring educational options. So, we will take a holiday for some breathing in and then move onward and upward.
A funny thing happened a few weeks ago. The children were in the yard playing on the rope swing and their laughter was coming to me clear and sweet from the window. It felt like a "snapshot" moment - like I was saving up the beauty of that second in time. I remember feeling a bit nervous - like I was experiencing some moment of perfection before a storm. I am often intuitive that way. The very next day, we experienced some educational upheaval that changed things for us and has taken most of our time for the past few weeks.  Today, as the period of disruption came to a close, the children were sitting together on the sofa and I was in the other room. The sound of their spontaneous laughter came to me and I immediately remembered that moment a few weeks ago. It was the first time since that day that I have consciously taken in the sound of their happiness. It is the bookends on this experience. It felt like closure. It also reminded me that laughter goes on. Life will change and seasons will come and go, but laughter lives on.

Brave New World

Sometimes life takes you by surprise. I cannot really go into that much detail on the why, how, and where of this cryptic statement except to say that we are trying a new experiment in our home education journey.

There have been some changes, some life shifts, some truth seeking, and we are dipping our toes into new waters.

The danger of encouraging your children to think for themselves is that they will. Sometimes they may even come up with their own conclusions and want to try their plan their way. Sometimes they even ask nicely and have some thoughts on how to go about it. Sometimes you should listen. This is a big lesson I learned in our first month of school this year. I love that I can still be taught, even if, sometimes, the lessons hurt a little. It is hard to let go of your children - even for their small steps to independence.

I love both of my children so much that I cannot really express it in words. I want to love them in ways that feel like love to them. I know that people feel love in different ways - and sometimes it is easy to love people in the way that you know how - and hard to learn the way that feels most like love to that person you want so desperately to show love to. I hope that I keep learning the ways of love. I hope that I can show love in ways that are meaningful to the people I love, even if it is difficult to figure out and challenging to follow up on.

A quote I have long admired and pondered comes to mind:

“The beginning of love is the will to let those we love be perfectly themselves, the resolution not to twist them to fit our own image. If in loving them we do not love what they are, but only their potential likeness to ourselves, then we do not love them: we only love the reflection of ourselves we find in them.”  - Thomas Merton