Parks and Recreation

Don't be too quick to discount the social question when it comes to homeschooling. I realize it is an overused and often times belabored point, but social opportunities are a big deal to many kids, sometimes, more than the parents even realize.

It can be pretty easy to make opportunities for making friends, but, like almost everything else in life, it starts with intention.

When you are making your plans for math, reading, and other academic endeavors, do not forget to plan for friends. We all need friendships to enrich our lives. I have tried to be intentional in giving my children the chance to giggle over silly jokes, learn hand clapping games, and discover the fun of playing in the woods with their peers.

Make sure you schedule some down time to meet new friends and cultivate the old ones. Plan a summer movie date and invite the others in your homeschool group, meet in the park for play, or invite a new friend over for some summer fun in the backyard. In the hustle and bustle of our homeschool years, it can help to schedule this down time on your calendar. Yes, actually write in days that are "black out dates" for free play with other children. This is a valuable part of the growing up experience. While you are at it, make sure to include new people in your homeschool group who are looking for a chance to fit in. Model for your children how it looks to build community and value other people.

It can be tempting to become an island in the hectic pace of home education, but take the time to meet friends and influence people. You will be glad you did.

Brave New World

Sometimes life takes you by surprise. I cannot really go into that much detail on the why, how, and where of this cryptic statement except to say that we are trying a new experiment in our home education journey.

There have been some changes, some life shifts, some truth seeking, and we are dipping our toes into new waters.

The danger of encouraging your children to think for themselves is that they will. Sometimes they may even come up with their own conclusions and want to try their plan their way. Sometimes they even ask nicely and have some thoughts on how to go about it. Sometimes you should listen. This is a big lesson I learned in our first month of school this year. I love that I can still be taught, even if, sometimes, the lessons hurt a little. It is hard to let go of your children - even for their small steps to independence.

I love both of my children so much that I cannot really express it in words. I want to love them in ways that feel like love to them. I know that people feel love in different ways - and sometimes it is easy to love people in the way that you know how - and hard to learn the way that feels most like love to that person you want so desperately to show love to. I hope that I keep learning the ways of love. I hope that I can show love in ways that are meaningful to the people I love, even if it is difficult to figure out and challenging to follow up on.

A quote I have long admired and pondered comes to mind:

“The beginning of love is the will to let those we love be perfectly themselves, the resolution not to twist them to fit our own image. If in loving them we do not love what they are, but only their potential likeness to ourselves, then we do not love them: we only love the reflection of ourselves we find in them.”  - Thomas Merton

Peace, Love, and The Woodland School Cooperative

For several years we have been involved with The Woodland School Homeschool Co-op. I cannot say enough good things about the wonder of bringing people together to learn in community. It is messy, it is difficult, it is tiring, and it is a many splendored thing.

My husband and I used to want to move to a communal living farm and hug trees and other people on a daily basis. A homeschool co-op can be kind of like this, minus the farm animals (though in some places, you could keep this aspect as well!)

I know this because we have experimented with communal living in several different ways over our 20 years together and I have experimented with homeschool co-ops for the past 13 years. I have a lot of experience with this "community" thing.

First of all, people are beautiful and complicated.  We all need each other to make good things happen here on earth. Recognizing and appreciating our individual geniuses can be a joyful discovery in a co-op. People are also messy and have a lot of baggage. All people, regardless of creed, nationality, political leanings, religious convictions or whatever have their "stuff", myself included. Not to mention personality types, levels of commitment to the group, ideas about education, ideas about parenting, ideas about everything. Throw in hormonal changes in children, teenagers, and the mom's and you pretty much have a perfect storm. I remember a song that I learned at Koinonia Farm, a communal farm we spent some time at in Georgia. It goes like this:

"Turn the other cheek and surprise the one that hits you, turn, turn, 

Turn the other cheek and surprise the one that hits you, turn, turn, turn.  

First the log and then the speck, first the log, and then the speck." 

This pretty much sums up the best rule of co-op life. Surprise your co-op sisters and brothers with an amazing capacity to turn the other cheek. I have never had anyone hit me at any homeschool co-op (unless, do toddlers count?), but the message of being able to turn away from misunderstanding or anger in the face of something you may take personally is a priceless piece of wisdom for co-op life (or life anywhere).

 

Which brings me to my second gem of wisdom about living in community. Assume positive intent. Always. These are three words that my family lives by. Do this and you may save nations - I am not kidding.

 

These little lessons with big implications are a bigger deal in terms of learning than any lab experiment or group project. We do the group projects and lab experiments, but the entire experience of learning as a community is the experiment. My daughter often says, "The journey is the destination." (I know she didn't make that one up, but she says it a lot.) Part of taking the journey in community is not being threatened by another person's ideas and values. You have to be strong enough in your own thinking to entertain other ideas without having to absorb them as your own or criticize someone else for holding them. This is crucial to a co-op experience that does not just scratch the surface of human relationships. We can all hang out with people just like us. It is boring, but we do it all the time. We tend to surround ourselves with people who think, act, dress, and talk just like we do. But, the gift of living in a true community is to get past that.

 

I know that the group we are in for this coming school year will look different at the end than at the beginning. The group may stay together, some may come and some may go. Some may have life experiences that take them elsewhere and some may love it and some may not. All of that is okay. The coming and the leaving, the loving it and not loving it are a part of the experience.  All of this and the way we react or don't react is an education.  The Woodland School is an experiment in community - a community with boys and girls, grown-ups and children, democrats and republicans (and some who don't know what we are), Christians and Jews, Evolutionists and Creationists, right and left, up and down, and some in the middle. This, my friends, is socialization at its finest. Just don't forget to turn the other cheek and assume positive intent.

 

 

Medieval Feast at The Woodland School Cooperative

Our monthly homeschool cooperative met for a medieval feast. This was probably the high point of the fall semester. We ate chicken legs like barbarians, jousted with pool noodles, and generally had an amazing time. Here is a group shot of some of the merry-makers. I can't say enough about this fabulous group of friends.

Walking the road of life is easier with good friends...

Dawson, Dahlia, Addie and Whit

Will Work for Peace

Tis the night before Thanksgiving and I am contemplating the deep thankfulness I feel for my children and the lessons they teach me along the journey together. I thought I would teach them, I didn't realize how much I would be learning FROM them. Peace starts at home. When I began the path to gentle, non-violent parenting, I had no idea how the seed of that ideal would take root and grow in our family. My socially conscience children are always surprising me with the ways they incorporate peace in our daily lives. They struggle with the hard work of it, just like I do, but they bring such an openness to the table. My twelve year old recently was sharing with me how she found it difficult to remember to be peaceful on the playground when her brother was being bullied. Her instinct was telling her to strike out and pay back insult for insult. I appreciate her protective instincts for her brother, but imagine my delight when she told me that she immediately thought of why the aggressor might be acting that way and what was going on with him to cause his behaviour. Over a period of several weeks, both of my children had many conversations about this child both together and with me and my husband. We put a lot of time into talking over scenarios and solutions that could be a win-win for both parties. The verbal bullying continued for a couple of weeks, but after my children went out of their way to make positive remarks, model good communication, and practiced some peace making strategies, things began to improve. Now the child in question is counted a friend. They play together and have a lot of fun. I am not trying to over-simplify the massive bullying problem we have these days, only feeling proud of a small inroad made by my two sweeties. Peace really does begin at home. When we model appropriate responses to injustice and problems in the world, the children will follow. They may even lead the way.

The Rivendell Society: A Homeschool Cooperative

I am delighted to post the information on the homeschool co-op that I am starting. I have thought about starting a co-op for years. So it is with great enthusiasm that I introduce, The Rivendell Society: A Homeschool Cooperative.

Vision:
The Rivendell Society was created to provide a rich source of shared experiences for homeschoolers who seek to build a community of diverse friends, playmates, and mentors.

Building Community:
Modern life can separate us from the heart of community and make us feel isolated and disconnected. The process of homeschooling may offer us a slower, gentler way, but we have to make the effort to build our community - to build our support system. We need friends, mentors, and connections.

Diverse Friends and Playmates:
We anticipate and expect to meet people of all ages and stages in our co-op. Kindness and inclusion are expected from every member. Home education is a family affair and we welcome participation from the youngest to the oldest. We expect that adults will treat each child with gentleness and respect as we model what is expected from the children.

Mentors:
We believe we all have something to bring to co-op. From the smallest baby to the seasoned homeschool parent, everyone offers a lesson. It is our hope that new homeschoolers will find inspiration and encouragement from those who have been on the journey a little longer. In turn, we hope that new homeschoolers will bring fresh perspective and vitality. Older children can offer a helping hand to the younger ones and include them in their games. The youngest among us can offer their delight in the smallest things and their special pace of life that helps us to slow down and enjoy the journey.

A Rich Source of Shared Experiences:
We believe that children learn best when they are offered quality experiences and given time to process and the enjoy the adventure. This is why we prefer quality over quantity when it comes to co-op scheduling. Fairy tales, folk songs, handicrafts, nature walks, children's games, and creative play are all quality activities for children.


Frequently Asked Questions:

What curriculum/philosophy is used?
We will draw materials from many sources and do not subscribe to a specific curriculum. The co-op is a melting pot of Waldorf, Montessori, Charlotte Mason, and traditional Mom-sense (or Dad-sense as the case may be). We are an inclusive group that seeks to celebrate our own traditions while respectfully joining with other members in celebrating theirs. To this end, we take part in seasonal festivals and holidays. We take our cues from nature and enjoy catering our activities to the weather and the season. While we welcome homeschoolers who ascribe to a wide variety of educational philosophies, the co-op is meant to be a gentle, developmentally appropriate experience. We will not do worksheets, drills, or textbook work at co-op. We will take part in hands-on experiences of many kinds.

When will we meet?
Fall 2009 session will meet every Monday morning from October 5-December 14. The co-op will begin at 9:30 and will finish by 12:30. Members can choose to pack a lunch and stay to picnic, or can leave at 12:30 if desired.

Where will we meet?
We will be meeting at a lovely local nature area when the weather is good. Otherwise, we will meet at my home. I am not putting the specifics here online for safety reasons. Please contact me privately for details.