Free Range Children

I was at the zoo the other day with my children. As we headed toward the naked mole rat exhibit (a strange, but interesting site), a group of children passed us with zoo camp shirts on. They were kindergarten age and were with a zoo camp class. The two instructors were keeping up a running dialogue at the children as they walked by holding a rope to keep their place in the line. "Walk a little faster, turn to the front, stop staring and keep walking, no talking here please, do you guys want snack because you won't have time for it if you don't walk faster than this..." on and on it went as the five year old kids walked on by. I was a bit taken aback at the severe tone of these camp leaders. The children were being very quiet and were only naturally distracted by looking at the animals they were passing. I had looked at the camps online and thought they sounded interesting with neat topics and activities listed. They were a bit expensive, so we hadn't signed up. Watching the leaders with this very young group of campers made me glad we didn't.

Why do so many adults feel they must keep up a running commentary at children about their every behaviour? I wonder how we would feel if someone walked along side us everywhere with a constant stream of chastisement? Why not just be pleasant and treat children like real people instead of inmates or second class citizens? I taught kindergarten for five years and worked in a daycare for a great many more before having my own children. I know it is not an easy job. But, is it really that hard to see children as real people?

It is a self-defeating cycle. When we are treated this way as children, it creates a need to lord our own superiority over others. Then, when we become the adults, we feel it is our due to treat children in this belittling way. It saddens me a great deal to see this being repeated over and over in our society. Are we so insecure that the only way to feel important is to become a tyrant and to push our own agenda on the children? Children are not made to be silent for hours at a time, to walk in straight and silent lines, to eat lunch in silence (as is the practice in many of our schools), or to go all day without active play and exploration. Children are citizens of our world and are due our respect as fellow human beings.

I want my children to be "free range" children. I don't want them to have to stifle every impulsive word and walk in straight lines, raise their hands to ask permission to go the bathroom (a basic human function!), or have someone stand over them with a running commentary on what they are doing wrong. I want a free range life for all children. I am not advocating the loss of boundaries or encouraging bad behaviour. I am only asking for a humane approach. Express to the children what your expectations are in simple and polite language, give them room to question you in a respectful way, ask them what could improve the class or camp and really listen. This is not as hard as it sounds. I use these and other strategies in my experiences teaching in a school setting, working with children in a library setting, and parenting my own. They really work. When working with children, it is best for us to follow our own rules, treat them the way you would want to be treated. Don't yell at them if you don't allow them to yell back, etc.

I hope for a better future for children. I hope my continued efforts to parent peacefully leave at least two more peaceful souls on this planet. I hope my continued work with the children of my community will give them the confidence they need to treat others kindly and with compassion and peace. I hope that if you are reading this post, that you will challenge yourself to reflect on the way you interact with the children in your life. Take another step towards peaceful and non-punitive interactions with the little ones in your life. You won't be sorry you did.