When we first started homeschooling, seven years ago, I was convinced that my children would learn naturally. I read John Holt and John Taylor Gatto, we joined an unschooling support group and we were off. Those were the days...
Six years ago, my husband started having health problems, our son was diagnosed with celiac disease, food allergies, and colitis, and life as we knew it started to unravel. Looking back, I realize that we went into crisis mode out of necessity. I had to take a full time job and I continued to homeschool. My husband, home often from work with illness, took the daytime routine with the children. Our lives changed drastically. As time went on and time and money were tight, our days took on more stucture. We used more "curriculum" options and assigned more work to make sure the children were exposed to a wide range of things. We read books in Doctor's office waiting rooms, we did Math in workbooks, and we SCHOOLED. The children were learning things. We were surviving.
Fast forward to today - alot of things have changed for us in the past two years. My husband is doing much better health-wise. My son has had his best year yet, and life is better for all of us. I was able to go part time at work with the return of my husband's health. More time for homeschooling, more time for everything...and then, the middle school panic set in.
I think this must be a well traveled trail in the homeschool world. As the 6th grade year starts, parents panic and the "what-if's" set in. What if I haven't done enough? What if they can't get into the college they want to? What if...? This year, the middle school panic caused me to do some pretty crazy things, like sign my children up for two homeschool co-ops/class days. We have always been relaxed homeschoolers with plenty of time at home for reading, crafts, and hanging out together. Since we have never really done the class thing, I thought this would be a good year to try it out. It all sounded so reasonable and organized when I did it. The children could try out the class thing and I would have a guideline to follow for the year.
In reality, things have turned out differently than I expected. We have learned so much - just not what I thought we would learn. For one thing, all the classes, co-ops and clubs got out of hand quickly. Suddenly we were running around too much, too much hurrying, too much gas in the car, too much of too much! When we had a ripple in our home life (a few rough weeks with various things breaking down and causing repairs to cars and home), things really got out of hand. My stress level was high, the children weren't getting enough sleep, and our cozy homeschool world was seriously out of balance. The children talked about the "things we used to do", like take morning walks together and light the "morning circle candle" before singing together at breakfast. Now we didn't have time for these things, we were packing in cereal before running to the car. We were too busy chanting latin verbs to sing and too busy getting ready for weekly presentations to take walks.
Somewhere in all of this madness, the thought came to me that the children had never even asked for a class or co-op. They were quite happy with our old homeschooling ways. It is certainly true that they were being exposed to new things and learning things that we hadn't covered yet at home, but I had to wonder if the trade off was worth it.
In the end, I came to my senses and did what I should have done from the start. I actually asked my children what they thought. I asked them what was working for them and what they liked or enjoyed about their new schedule and what they didn't. I also decided to re-read the books that I had enjoyed and that had originally shaped my homeschooling philosophy. I decided to return to my homeschool roots. Instead of cramming facts into my children, I gave them a few weeks off and tried homeschooling myself instead. I also decided to let them decide for themselves what they wanted to keep, change, or do away with.
I started by reading one of my favorite John Holt books, "What Do I Do Monday?". I was struck again by the wisdom and common sense of listening and trusting the children. Radical trust used to be the name of the game at our house, how had things gotten off track? I followed this book up with David Albert's, "Homeschooling and the Voyage of Self-Discovery: A Journey of Original Seeking". Both of these books are beautiful, insightful and lovely to read and ponder.
Returning to my roots infused our homeschool with a freshness and vitality that put us back on the right track. Now the children are, once again, in charge of their own educational journey. After several weeks of pondering and decision making, we dropped a few clubs and support group activities, had one child who dropped one morning of classes but kept the other, and one child who, for the moment, chooses to keep attending both days of classes and co-ops. So, our experiment this year with co-ops and classes was educational for all of us. While we may have learned new facts in history and science, Latin and Spanish, the most important lesson was to trust the children and to do what is right for your family as well as for each child. Now we light the "morning circle candle" once again, and we have taken back up those family walks as well.
