Musings at the End of Our Homeschool Year: A Journal Entry from May 24, 2015

The children and I had a lovely day full of ordinary things yesterday - like so many days before - passed in a happy, busy, good-natured way of being together. I enjoy my children more than can be expressed. They are authentic people who are kind, smart, possess a sense of humor, and are generally charming. I am sure I must be partial in my assessment, but in all honesty, they are excellent human beings and friends.

This is really why I homeschool. We enjoy each others company and we all work towards the mutual building up of each other's strengths, the pursuit of dreams and desired skills, the chipping away at our faults, and the shared dream of a better, kinder, more peaceful world.

I can think of no way I would rather spend my time, vitality, and resources - than in providing for the mutual acceptance, improvement, and inspiration of my family and my community. 

In this way, it matters not whether we, as a family, change the world - or, perhaps I should say, come to see and touch the change we have wrought upon it. We have changed ourselves, and in doing so, have made ripples on that great cosmic pond.

It is more than enough.

What does it take to homeschool? How do I get started?

I often have people ask me how to homeschool. When you start something new, it can be difficult to see what it looks like and to interpret that into personal action. Where do I start? Do I order curriculum? Read twenty books about homeschooling? Order a chalkboard and a globe from Amazon? 

There are entire books written about how to homeschool. Some are very good and helpful. There are numerous articles, blogs, websites, and support groups. But, I am going to break it down to the very first crucial steps to homeschooling. The core of successful homeschooling is that it is a lifestyle. It will take time to bring this new way of looking at the world and at education into your home. It will take time to adjust your thinking to a new paradigm. Give yourself that time. Don't worry that you must have all the answers this week or that you must decide on your child's learning style by Saturday. First and foremost, homeschooling is a journey that you take with your child. Take some time to think about what that journey will look like, what to pack, and above all, count the cost. 

Homeschoolers spend a lot of time with their children. A LOT of time. Take a look at your home life. Do you enjoy spending time with your children? Are you able to instruct them and coach them through tasks? Are you able to be with them for the majority of the day, the week, the month, the year and enjoy it? This may seem like a simple question - but more than what kind of curriculum to use or which group to join, this question can make or break your homeschool experience. Don't despair if your answer is no. Are you willing to work at it? Are you willing to spend time taking an honest look at your home life and working together with your children to create an environment conducive to learning? No home is perfect, but you will all be happier if you can create an environment that includes what you and your children need to get along well with each other. This is perhaps the first and most important step to homeschooling.

When you homeschool, you are the one calling the shots. You must be able to take responsibility for creating your own program. There are many options and you can certainly use a program that lays everything out for you, a computer based curriculum, or a satellite school. But, at the end of the day, you must decide what is best for your child. This can seem overwhelming to new homeschoolers. If you are used to having a school or a teacher tell you exactly what to do and when, the new freedom can feel... well, free. Freedom is a great thing, but it can feel scary at first. Give yourself time to adjust to this brave new world. You really can do it, but you will need to put in some research time on the computer, reading books, and/or talking to other homeschoolers. You are now a teacher as well as a parent. You will need some teacher planning time, some time to invest in your own learning, and down time to rest and rejuvenate. Make sure you have a realistic expectation of the time and energy this will take on your part. 

Finally, homeschooling does cost money. There are certainly ways to reduce the cost, but it is not free. For one thing, there will need to be a parent at home and guiding the homeschooling. My husband and I have always worked and homeschooled. It can be done. It is not easy. We have worked schedules that we could arrange around having a parent home and, some years, we have also had to hire a caregiver. I will not go into all the details, but you will most likely have to limit your career choices or at least one of you will. There are certainly careers that will work well with flexible schedules, but not all jobs are conducive to flexibility. Some of you may have an adult in the home that can financially support a stay at home parent. Still, that parent is loosing the option to build their career while the children are homeschooling. This is something to take into consideration when you decide to homeschool. 

You will also have to purchase materials. You can limit your spending by making great use of the public library, going to used curriculum sales, shopping for used items online, and even swapping materials in your homeschool group. But, you will spend some money on curriculum, books, microscopes, instruments, sports equipment, and more books. You will also spend some money on classes, museums, field trips, and co-ops. The amount each family will spend will vary greatly, but a general rule is that if you need to cut corners on time, expect to spend a little more money. 

I absolutely love homeschooling. I have homeschooled both of my children for their entire education to date. I have a high school and a middle school student and we love our homeschool life. I really believe that anyone who can look up answers and read can homeschool their children. But, you must be willing to look up answers. When I am helping new homeschoolers get started for the first time, these are the things I wish they knew. There are amazing benefits to homeschooling - you just have to be willing to put in some elbow grease. 

The Best Parenting Advice I Can Offer

My children are quickly growing up. My oldest will turn 15 in two weeks. The time really does go by so fast. I often have people ask me questions about parenting. I really like both of my children and enjoy spending time with my teenager (I enjoy spending time with my 10 year old as well, but people seem less surprised by that.) When I think about my parenting journey, I can recall a time in my life when I experienced a paradigm shift that changed the way I saw our home life.

When my daughter was two, she used to throw massive tantrums. Really. People who know her now think I made this up, but, I was there and I can promise you that she gave me a run for my money. I was frustrated and felt like a failure as a parent. I was angry that she was so difficult to live with and I really questioned if having a second child would be a good idea and something that I could handle. I read LOTS of parenting books and asked lots of questions and attended parenting conferences in an attempt to figure out what other people were doing and what might work to restore my sanity and bring peace to our home. I won't bore you with the details of every step in that process, let me just skip to the bottom line. 

I realized that many people have the mentality that it is the kid(s) vs. the parent(s). The strong willed child has pitted herself against you and you must find a way to subdue her. Let me tell you that this is the most damaging way of looking at your parent-child relationship. What I discovered is that this mindset of being the one in "control" and having to bring your little ones into submission is setting your home up to be a battlefield. Let me assure you that it is not parents vs. kids or kids vs. parents. It is a family vs. the problems and challenges the world throws at you. You and your child are on the same team. This may sound simple, but it changed my life. 

When you realize that loving a child (or a spouse for that matter) means that you are on the same team and that loving someone means that you are actively pursuing growth and nurturing for that person's best self - you are already more than half way to a more peaceful home life. Stop trying to control your child or have the last word and embrace a paradigm that allows you to be you and them to be them. There is so much more to this concept, but the first step is to realize that you are on the same team. 

A few books that are helpful is pursuing a non-adversarial parenting style are:

Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka

The Successful Child by William and Martha Sears 

The Natural Child: Parenting From the Heart by Jan Hunt

Positive Parenting for a Peaceful World by Ruth Tod

Hope is the thing with feathers...

     

Hope is the thing with feathers 

That perches in the soul, 

And sings the tune--without the words, 

And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard; 

And sore must be the storm 

That could abash the little bird 

That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chillest land, 

And on the strangest sea; 

Yet, never, in extremity, 

It asked a crumb of me.

Emily Dickinson

We are pressing onward. In the midst of chronic illness and other related trials, I am gifted with hope for the future and hope that we will see the end of this particular run of challenges soon. I keep thinking to myself, that the only way through is forward. Surely on the other side of this week, this month, this year, there will be a lessening of pressing stresses and life can return to a more "normal" pace.

Whit has started weekly injections, weekly blood work, more daily medications, and is still getting his infusions and supplements. He feels good today. It is hard to predict what each day will be like. We are living with the constant up and down of good days followed by bad days followed by awful days followed by a great day. This is the kind of schedule that really teaches you to enjoy the small things in life - quiet moments of cuddling on the couch, reading books out loud together, laughter, beauty, love...

People are so kind. Lots of people ask about Whit. The neighborhood where we live has nice places to walk. The shop owners ask about him when they see me out and about. My wonderful, encouraging co-workers are always checking in with me to see how the week is going. My family is incredibly helpful and supportive. I have friends that are always checking up on me. I am grateful.

I have hesitated to write much about Whit's health issues. There is his privacy to consider. I also feel unsure about how much to share of my personal feelings about his illness for many reasons. But, recently, I began to search for blogs and information about children with severe ulcerative colitis and related auto immune disease issues. I did not find much. What I did find was incredibly encouraging to me. It was so affirming to read about other's experiences with their children and how they have coped. This made me feel that maybe it would help someone else to put myself out there. Whit's combination of diseases does not get that much press. He has celiac disease, severe food allergies, ulcerative colitis, and asthma. Right now, it is the ulcerative colitis that is causing him so many problems. His colon is ulcerated and will bleed out if he is not treated. The struggle since his disease went active again in September, has been to control his bleeding, pain, and other symptoms. He has to be on steroids that cause swelling, weight gain, emotional swings, and sleeplessness. His medications can affect his liver and he has to have weekly blood work to check his liver numbers. They also destroy his immune system.

Maybe I will take this post down at some point, but for now, I feel it is okay to post about our family and our struggle with ulcerative colitis. Whit is running out of time to be on the steroids. You cannot take them long term. He is stepping down now. Over the next few weeks, he will be tapered off of them completely and the infusions and injections will need to sustain his progress. If not, we will be facing some big decisions about how to continue his treatment. We are hoping for the best. As I listened to the birds singing outside my window, as spring creeps in, I was reminded that hope is the thing with feathers. I do hope this spring brings a new season of health to my Whit.

There and Back Again

After a two week experiment with trying a different approach to education, we are back to The Rivendell School for both of my children.
The experience of listening, trying something new, expanding our horizons, and finding our place again has been well worth the stress.
I am amazed at how much I have learned in the past two weeks. It is apparent that my children have learned a lot as well. Of course, I am not talking about academic learning - but learning of the spirit. We have had some fabulous conversation, soul searching, and self-examination. All of this has been very tiring, but very productive as well.
We are now ready to meet the bend in the road with new enthusiasm and direction. A lot of growing up, grieving, and letting go has happened in a few short weeks.
And... here we are... together again for a new school year. It feels like we are starting fresh - like we never went to school for 3 weeks in one paradigm and then 2 in another. It all feels new. In a way, it is. We have left our old curriculum behind. We are embracing a new part of our journey together and we are wiser for having spent this time exploring educational options. So, we will take a holiday for some breathing in and then move onward and upward.
A funny thing happened a few weeks ago. The children were in the yard playing on the rope swing and their laughter was coming to me clear and sweet from the window. It felt like a "snapshot" moment - like I was saving up the beauty of that second in time. I remember feeling a bit nervous - like I was experiencing some moment of perfection before a storm. I am often intuitive that way. The very next day, we experienced some educational upheaval that changed things for us and has taken most of our time for the past few weeks.  Today, as the period of disruption came to a close, the children were sitting together on the sofa and I was in the other room. The sound of their spontaneous laughter came to me and I immediately remembered that moment a few weeks ago. It was the first time since that day that I have consciously taken in the sound of their happiness. It is the bookends on this experience. It felt like closure. It also reminded me that laughter goes on. Life will change and seasons will come and go, but laughter lives on.

Brave New World

Sometimes life takes you by surprise. I cannot really go into that much detail on the why, how, and where of this cryptic statement except to say that we are trying a new experiment in our home education journey.

There have been some changes, some life shifts, some truth seeking, and we are dipping our toes into new waters.

The danger of encouraging your children to think for themselves is that they will. Sometimes they may even come up with their own conclusions and want to try their plan their way. Sometimes they even ask nicely and have some thoughts on how to go about it. Sometimes you should listen. This is a big lesson I learned in our first month of school this year. I love that I can still be taught, even if, sometimes, the lessons hurt a little. It is hard to let go of your children - even for their small steps to independence.

I love both of my children so much that I cannot really express it in words. I want to love them in ways that feel like love to them. I know that people feel love in different ways - and sometimes it is easy to love people in the way that you know how - and hard to learn the way that feels most like love to that person you want so desperately to show love to. I hope that I keep learning the ways of love. I hope that I can show love in ways that are meaningful to the people I love, even if it is difficult to figure out and challenging to follow up on.

A quote I have long admired and pondered comes to mind:

“The beginning of love is the will to let those we love be perfectly themselves, the resolution not to twist them to fit our own image. If in loving them we do not love what they are, but only their potential likeness to ourselves, then we do not love them: we only love the reflection of ourselves we find in them.”  - Thomas Merton

Merging Oak Meadow with Materials Created for Dyslexic Students

I have a son with dyslexia. Dyslexia is often misunderstood and causes many children to feel like "aliens" in a world where everyone seems to know the code, but they can't crack it. I know this, because my son tells me all about it. He used to feel alienated and could not understand why he felt "different" from other people. He would say things in unusual ways, was particularly observant, keenly intelligent, but could not seem to remember his letters or how to make them form words. I was perplexed by this. I had been a tutor to children in housing projects in inner cities, taught kindergarten for years, and worked in the children's room at the library. I had read to him in utero.  What was going on?

As time went on, we had him tested. He was diagnosed with dyslexia. If any of you have ever had your child diagnosed with anything, you will identify with the sudden frenzy of reading and studying I did on dyslexia. I read everything I could get my hands on, attended workshops, went to support group meetings, local advocacy groups, watched documentaries, and sought out expert help. I am summing up a few years here, but trust me when I say, I earned a degree in dyslexia from the school of self help.

When you first have to make changes to accommodate special needs, there can be a pendulum swing phenomena. My studies brought me to the Orton Gillingham method. This is a very scientific approach to multi sensory teaching for dyslexics. It is far too much information to go into here, but it involves a systematic approach to teaching reading through multi sensory techniques. I took some training classes and got started right away.

Slogging through phonics is hard work. I knew that in my fervor to help him, my pendulum was swinging towards much more structure and academics than I was really comfortable with for a second grader. He wanted to read so badly. He tried so hard. The work was quite strenuous and he began to say he didn't like "school". This really presented quite a dilemma for me. I am solidly in the camp of delayed academics for children, with plenty of time to enjoy unstructured play, handicrafts, and time outdoors. It had been a shock to me to realize that we needed to embrace the structure of the Orton Gillingham lesson. It was the fear that was driving me now. The fear that this precious child of mine would somehow miss out on crucial things because he couldn't read. I was also missing the gentle pace of the Oak Meadow curriculum and the creative aspects that we had so enjoyed in first grade.

It was in the third grade year that my pendulum began to balance and we finally hit our stride. I was now more of an "expert" at the multi sensory lesson. I felt more comfortable with setting a slower pace. I cut back on the time we spent in reading instruction and added more creative elements and unit studies that he chose the topics for. We began to enjoy "school" again. We were able to use Oak Meadow and substitute the reading instruction with his Orton Gillingham lesson. I was able to come up with appropriate accommodations for the lessons as needed and we began to feel comfortable with dyslexia. I say that we felt comfortable because, for me, it had felt very uncomfortable, very foreign, and very intimidating. The diagnosis of dyslexia left me feeling inadequate and so uncertain about my homeschooling. For my son, I believe that the diagnosis was both a blessing and a burden. He finally had a reason as to why he felt like an "alien" as he describes it. He had a learning difference. His brain saw things just a bit differently than most of us. He also felt the things that many dyslexics go through. He felt like he was "dumb" and that he wouldn't be able to do the things that other children did at his age.  When friends were reading chapter books and discussing them, he was still struggling with very simple readers. On the other hand, his skills of observation were very acute and didn't rely on the written word. He had developed ways around reading.

Third grade continued. We did unit studies on snakes and bugs, we struggled through the Merrill Readers, we went to the museums, we broke out in a sweat over consonant blends. My son discovered Calvin and Hobbes and suddenly, just like that, there was a breakthrough in the code. I could see it happen. It was like a switch coming on and the letters suddenly aligned into something comprehensible. He stayed up late to read Calvin. His light would stay on till we had to make him turn it off. We drove down the street to a constant wonder-filled voice that read us street signs and billboards. It was a miraculous.

Reading is still hard. I don't want to give the impression that he suddenly read on grade level or that he took up War and Peace, but he is READING. Was it the multi sensory instruction, the thousands of pages read to him by his mother, father, and sister, the freedom to choose his own books and topics of study? Was there one element that brought it into focus or was it a cocktail of literature and systematic study?

I strongly believe that dyslexic children need instruction that is tailored to their specific need. I continue using an Orton Gillingham style of reading instruction and provide accommodation as needed. I believe the success we have enjoyed comes from my son's hard work, his determination to read, his thirst for knowledge, and the drive of his family to build bridges for him to travel on. In my work with the public, I see many children who need special instruction, but are not able to receive it. (There are many reasons for that, but this is not a blog post on how we can work towards that end, although it is a fabulous topic and one I spend a lot of time on.)
What I can do here is point you, my fellow traveler, towards some resources that have helped us on our way. I can also assure you that it is possible, and highly desirable, to merge a creative curriculum with systematic instruction.

The program we use for language arts (reading and writing) is called PAF, or Preventing Academic Failure. It is an Orton Gillingham based program. The teacher manual provides excellent information on the layout of a solid lesson. The lessons are laid out for you and easy to follow. The program uses the Merrill Readers, Explode the Code, and Stepping Up books. The program can be used for several years depending on where you start and how long it takes to complete.

I also use pinterest and creative bloggers to find materials to help me practice certain skills. For example, when working on "bossy r", I made games and activities to help reinforce the differences in the ar, ir, or, ur, and er sounds.

Now that we are in fourth grade, we are reading our first book in the Oak Meadow syllabus, Stuart Little. I was delighted to discover that my son can read a page or two at a time of this book without getting too overwhelmed. So, we take turns reading. We have also used audio books for required reading. Journal entries can be dictated. He can tell me what to write and I record it in his main lesson book for him. He can also copy a few sentences or trace things to label. He then illustrates the page. There are many ways to make a creative, meaningful, and scientifically sound program at home for your dyslexic child. It is not always easy. It does require hard work and patience on both the part of the child and the parent.

I hope that if you have a child with special educational needs, that you will find your stride. There are many valid and excellent choices for you to choose from. If you choose to homeschool, I hope you feel empowered knowing that you can find the resources you need to move forward. Homeschooling with learning differences is challenging and wonderful. Enjoy the journey!

That Moment Before You Reach the Top of the Hill on a Roller Coaster...

I have always loved the "back-to-school" season. I love the school supplies. I love the end of summer when your thoughts begin to turn to picking apples and buying new pencils with fresh erasers. I usually feel energized and excited. So, it is with a sense of bewilderment that I write this entry. Our co-op starts back this Friday and the overwhelming feeling I have is that of being on a roller coaster that is about to crest the hill and begin the free fall. Is it really true that the older you get, the faster time flies? I am beginning to wonder. Can it really be August already?
I am not depressed that school is starting back, but I am not my usual excited self about it either. I am seeking some source of inspiration to help me get my mojo back.
Maybe the weather still feels too hot and muggy. Maybe I need some more down time. Maybe I just need to increase my coffee consumption.
Sometimes when I read blogs and facebook updates, everyone else's life sounds so lovely and uncomplicated. Glossy photos of special moments, well-written descriptions of crafts and special projects - I know that I also post these moments. Most of us do not post the pics of our family in disarray, the dirty dishes, the scattered unopened mail, the laundry pile up. I will admit that I like to stay positive online. Reading depressing commentary is not what I like to take in when I have free time to spend on the computer. However, maybe it is alright to mention that our lives aren't always an endless parade of Kodak moments and creativity. Sometimes we are tired. We are uninspired. We have too much to do and not enough time to do it. Sometimes life is like that. So, I am taking this opportunity to claim my feelings - to own up to feeling not quite ready for the coming school year. I wish I had a month to organize my home. I wish I had some vacation time to take off of work. I wish I had some more funds in the larder to create possibilities. I wish all of these things, but I know that, somehow, things will work out, even without wish fulfillment. Even in the writing of this, I feel better. Sometimes the fear you feel before the drop on the other side of the hill is worth the exhilaration of the free fall on the other side. So, here it is, August 5, 2013. Who knows what is to come this school year? Sometimes it is in the letting go of the ideal that we find out what we really need and what we can get by without, and this is not a bad thing. So, I wait for the free fall and hope for inspiration.

Parenting Books Part Two: The Young Child

The previous post contains my favorite parenting books to read when you have a baby or toddler. As your child grows and changes, here are a few more titles to consider.

Beyond the Rainbow Bridge: Nurturing Our Children from Birth to Seven by Patterson and Bradley


This book is a delight to read. It is full of ideas on how to provide your child with a wonder-filled, nurturing, early childhood experience.

Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, and Energetic by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
This title was a life-saver when my daughter was two and three. She had intense mood swings and tantrums that seemed to come from nowhere. I felt powerless to help her with her "big feelings". I credit this book with teaching me some emotional coaching skills that have served me in every age and stage since. Mary Sheeda Kurcinka also has other titles to explore. If you are struggling with how to deal with your child's emotions or intensity, this may be just the thing.

I have linked the titles of these books to Amazon. I hope that helps you read more reviews or buy a copy for your personal library. Speaking of libraries, your local library may have these titles on tap, so check there first. I hope these titles inspire you towards gentle and conscious parenting. Enjoy the journey!

Charlotte's Web: The Right Book at the Right Time - Stories for the Nine Year Change

Bedtime story time has evolved from year to year at my house. My children are now 9 (almost 10) and 14. I believe that bedtime rituals are still just as important as ever - including the bedtime story. During the school year, we used the Oak Meadow Folk Tales book for most bedtime stories. I wondered if my son was still enjoying the nightly ritual or if, at nine years old, he was growing out of it.
Imagine my delight when a mother of one of his friends came by to see me one and day and asked if I could tell her what folk tale book we had been reading. She had heard my son telling her son about it in the car when she was taking them on an outing recently. She reported that my son had gone into great detail about the stories and the candle we lit when we sat down to read. Her son had later asked to begin this ritual. Apparently, nine year old boys still love bedtime stories!
I was amazed that he had shared this with a friend. Not only did he love the ritual, he felt confident about sharing it. I have to admit that my storyteller heart rejoiced.
As the school year wound to a close, I realized that there were several books that I had hoped to read aloud that we just had not been able to squeeze in. With the farming theme present in the third grade year, I decided we just couldn't leave off without reading Charlotte's Web. I knew he had heard it read aloud when he was younger and his sister was listening to it, but I love that book so much, I decided to try it and see what happened.
Thus began a sweet and tender time for a mother and son in the midst of the nine year change. Each chapter is so real and so in tune to this time in a child's life. I could feel the authenticity of it as we read aloud each night before bed. As Wilbur matures and understands the facts about life, as Fern changes and leaves her barnyard friends behind - thus is the life of the nine year old. There are so many parallels in this story to the struggles of being nine. Children feel keenly this "dying" of early childhood and rebirth into the older child. Something about turning "double digits" is a rite of passage. I know that he had heard the basic story before and even remembered bits and pieces from hearing it read aloud years earlier. But, there is a magic in hearing the right story at the right time, an affirming of your inner life that you do not get from other tales. I felt privileged to watch it unfold. I urge parents not to push children to grow up too soon. Do not rush to read a book just because they "can" read the book and do not give up on bedtime stories. There is a magic in a story candle lit in a darkening room. A spell that weaves around the child when the story is a perfect match for the age and stage. This is the "sweet spot" of children's literature - bibliotherapy at its best.

Co-Op Mom Guidelines

Say yes as often as possible * Let them express themselves, but keep a guiding hand * If they are crabby, offer a hug *If they act unlovable, love them anyway * realize how important it is to be a child * read books out loud with joy* remember how really small they are * say no when necessary * laugh a lot * surprise them * teach feelings * learn about active learning * think about different learning styles when planning your lesson * eat snacks and offer coffee (or water) to yourself and the students * make school safe for shy children * plan to build things and do it * imagine possibilities * make forts with blankets * search out the positive * keep the gleam in your eye * encourage deep thoughts * stop yelling * express your love * speak kindly * remember we all have special needs * pray for the students * teach them the way you wish you had been taught * remember to hug the other moms * model the fruit of the spirit * expect great things from our teens and tell them so * turn the other cheek and surprise the one who wrongs you * be the change you want to see * assume positive intent * share your hurts, maybe another mom can help * enjoy this season of life – it passes quickly

Meal Planning, Homeschooling, and Allergen Free Recipes

If there is one hill I find I hard to scale in my homeschooling journey, it is meal time. I have a child with celiac disease and severe allergies to wheat, oats, peanuts, tree nuts, and seeds. I have another child who is gluten intolerant and my husband has celiac disease and is allergic to dairy. Yikes! What is a Mom to do? It takes time and budgeting to make sure safe meals appear on the table. We can't stop by the local fast food drive-thru or order pizza delivered - even on days when I would love to have an easy option. I remind myself that the children will probably be much healthier over all without eating out much and then I dive into planning our meals. Right now I have a three week system for each season. This means I make three weeks of meal plans for summer, fall, winter, and spring. Then we rotate through the three weeks of menu's for the summer months and then switch to the fall menu's and so on. This seems to work pretty well and I keep an open mind for special circumstances. For instance, my son's birthday is this coming week. I printed out a blank summer menu plan and revised this week to include his favorite snacks and his birthday meal picks on his special day. You can also plug in festivals and special events this way. I highly suggest coming up with a three (or four) week meal plan and then rotating them. A little work at the beginning can save a lot of sitting around wondering what to fix for dinner. I also shop sales by picking up doubles or triple of items we use a lot and saving them for the right week.  I am working on putting my grocery lists in the file with my menu's, so I can just print them out. Right now I am still just looking at the meal plan and jotting down what I need for the week. This isn't a brilliant and complicated meal planning idea, but it is a little something in my tool box of organizing my year. Bon Appetit! 

Whit is Published in Kids In Print!

Whit was published in the yearly Kids In Print publication put out by our local library. His story about Talgres the Squirrel and how he saved his animal friends made page four!  Needless to say we are very proud of our budding author. Here he is at the book signing and reception with the graphic novelist/cartoonist, Chris Schweizer. He is also pictured here with some friends from our homeschooling group. Pictured from left to right is Blake (published for his photography work), Whit (my favorite author of wildlife fiction), Haylee (a budding poet), and Shelby (published for her artwork).  I would say he has a great circle of friends! Congratulations Whitman, on a fantastic literary beginning!

Excalibur

This year my children are enrolled in a homeschool co-op called Excalibur. If you have read my previous post, you will know that after overbooking our school year and re-organizing to accomodate what the children wanted to keep, both of my children chose to keep Excalibur. I have been so favorably impressed with our experience there, I wanted to share it with you.

The co-op meets for three hours one morning a week. The children can sign up for an instrument (piano or violin) or art class for the first hour. Everyone takes Physics for the second hour and Spanish for the third hour.

The first thing that stands out to me about Excalibur is that the children have all been treated very respectfully with a minimum of adult coerced activities. Asking questions is encouraged by word as well as action and children seem able to participate at varying levels of interest and attention span. All ages meet together except for the preschool crowd, which meets in another area.

Parents attend with their children and no mention of punishments or rewards has been made in my hearing. (Alfie Kohn would be so proud!)
Interestingly, after the first six weeks children organically began to bring items of interest apart from any adult suggestion or plan, to share with each other. For example, a child brought her baton and began to show other children how she uses it and letting them practice with hers. A boy talked with my daughter about her knitting. He crochets, so they agreed to bring their supplies and teach show each other their skills. They ended up with a small group of children sitting together swapping handiwork know-how with promises to bring supplies again next time. I suspect that this will continue till someone gets bored and suggests some new thing that might be shared.

It is true that the music, art, physics, and Spanish classes are traditional-style classes - to a degree, but they are led by people with a high interest in the area they lead and a desire to pass off what they know to others. I don't believe any of the instructors have "degrees" in what they are teaching, only an interest and love of the material.

Children sit in chairs, at tables, or on the floor to take things in with varying degrees of note-taking or just sitting listening or day dreaming.
The instructors haven't seemed anxious about keeping order or making the children behave in any sort of regimented way. So the children are free to take in what interests them. I have not observed an atmosphere of fear or much anxiety - with the possible exception of the younger children trying to write down things quickly that became hard for them. Parents on hand were quick to point out that they weren't "recquired" to write it all down and many alternative suggestions were made as to how they could proceed.
* The desired words were run off on a list that could be cut out and pasted.
* The words were written on the board for all to see and spell.
* A parent or another child wrote the words for them.
* The child doesn't write the words or worry about writing the words.
All of the children found a solution here and have not seemed concerned or anxious regarding this since.

The physics instructor often has the children act out being molecules or conducting experiments in a sort of "en masse" way that is brave on her part and brilliant for the children.
I have noted that some parents (even myself) have been occasionally concerned about bringing things to order or keeping everyone moving along uniformally. But somehow, they have, to date, pulled back and let things progress naturally, much to their credit, in my estimation.

The Spanish instructor invites questions and requests for new words. She isn't put off by odd requests (My seven year old asked her how you say, "old decrepit gerbil" in Spanish.) She has the easy demeanor hallmark of this group.

The children in this group appear at ease and comfortable. I believe this group has great potential and varied possibilities so long as the parents involved are able to resist their instinct to control and pre-plan to any greater extent and let the children remain comfortable and engaged on so many varying levels.

My children have certainly enjoyed this group. They comment that the children there are very nice and easy to be with and that they feel comfortable with the instructors and the kinds of things they do there.

In Which I Return to My Homeschool Roots

When we first started homeschooling, seven years ago, I was convinced that my children would learn naturally. I read John Holt and John Taylor Gatto, we joined an unschooling support group and we were off. Those were the days...

Six years ago, my husband started having health problems, our son was diagnosed with celiac disease, food allergies, and colitis, and life as we knew it started to unravel. Looking back, I realize that we went into crisis mode out of necessity. I had to take a full time job and I continued to homeschool. My husband, home often from work with illness, took the daytime routine with the children. Our lives changed drastically. As time went on and time and money were tight, our days took on more stucture. We used more "curriculum" options and assigned more work to make sure the children were exposed to a wide range of things. We read books in Doctor's office waiting rooms, we did Math in workbooks, and we SCHOOLED. The children were learning things. We were surviving.

Fast forward to today - alot of things have changed for us in the past two years. My husband is doing much better health-wise. My son has had his best year yet, and life is better for all of us. I was able to go part time at work with the return of my husband's health. More time for homeschooling, more time for everything...and then, the middle school panic set in.

I think this must be a well traveled trail in the homeschool world. As the 6th grade year starts, parents panic and the "what-if's" set in. What if I haven't done enough? What if they can't get into the college they want to? What if...? This year, the middle school panic caused me to do some pretty crazy things, like sign my children up for two homeschool co-ops/class days. We have always been relaxed homeschoolers with plenty of time at home for reading, crafts, and hanging out together. Since we have never really done the class thing, I thought this would be a good year to try it out. It all sounded so reasonable and organized when I did it. The children could try out the class thing and I would have a guideline to follow for the year.

In reality, things have turned out differently than I expected. We have learned so much - just not what I thought we would learn. For one thing, all the classes, co-ops and clubs got out of hand quickly. Suddenly we were running around too much, too much hurrying, too much gas in the car, too much of too much! When we had a ripple in our home life (a few rough weeks with various things breaking down and causing repairs to cars and home), things really got out of hand. My stress level was high, the children weren't getting enough sleep, and our cozy homeschool world was seriously out of balance. The children talked about the "things we used to do", like take morning walks together and light the "morning circle candle" before singing together at breakfast. Now we didn't have time for these things, we were packing in cereal before running to the car. We were too busy chanting latin verbs to sing and too busy getting ready for weekly presentations to take walks.

Somewhere in all of this madness, the thought came to me that the children had never even asked for a class or co-op. They were quite happy with our old homeschooling ways. It is certainly true that they were being exposed to new things and learning things that we hadn't covered yet at home, but I had to wonder if the trade off was worth it.

In the end, I came to my senses and did what I should have done from the start. I actually asked my children what they thought. I asked them what was working for them and what they liked or enjoyed about their new schedule and what they didn't. I also decided to re-read the books that I had enjoyed and that had originally shaped my homeschooling philosophy. I decided to return to my homeschool roots. Instead of cramming facts into my children, I gave them a few weeks off and tried homeschooling myself instead. I also decided to let them decide for themselves what they wanted to keep, change, or do away with.

I started by reading one of my favorite John Holt books, "What Do I Do Monday?". I was struck again by the wisdom and common sense of listening and trusting the children. Radical trust used to be the name of the game at our house, how had things gotten off track? I followed this book up with David Albert's, "Homeschooling and the Voyage of Self-Discovery: A Journey of Original Seeking". Both of these books are beautiful, insightful and lovely to read and ponder.

Returning to my roots infused our homeschool with a freshness and vitality that put us back on the right track. Now the children are, once again, in charge of their own educational journey. After several weeks of pondering and decision making, we dropped a few clubs and support group activities, had one child who dropped one morning of classes but kept the other, and one child who, for the moment, chooses to keep attending both days of classes and co-ops. So, our experiment this year with co-ops and classes was educational for all of us. While we may have learned new facts in history and science, Latin and Spanish, the most important lesson was to trust the children and to do what is right for your family as well as for each child. Now we light the "morning circle candle" once again, and we have taken back up those family walks as well.

Of Lizards and a Wish for Spring

My children went outside today to enjoy the sunshine. It has been unseasonably cold for S.C. this winter. The sunshine on the balcony was bright and warm, even though they are calling for sleet tomorrow.
As I was in the kitchen tidying up from lunch, I heard my youngest start to shout, "Mom! The first one! Quick Mom, it's the first one!" I hurried to the back door to see what first one we were referring to. There was my six year old son pointing to two little lizards on the brick wall. "The first lizards of spring, Mom, they are here!"
The excitement of both of children was infectious. Indeed, the first lizards of spring are here! Dare I hope they brought warmer weather?
So, with no offense meant to the groundhog, I think the lizards have beat them to it!

Adventures in Science

After focusing on history last semester, we are delving into science with a passion.
Last week the children used marshmallows, a styrofoam base, and fettuccini noodles to build structures. Then they made a hypothesis about what type of "quake" it could withstand. They measured the space on the mat, gave the base 6, 3 cm quakes (shakes) and recorded results. They loved the whole experience. It was actually in my 5th graders lesson plan, buy my six year old was right there too. They built several styles of buildings, had multiple quakes, and recorded the data.
My 5th grader read about earthquakes in her book prior to doing the experiments.
Sadly, the Haiti quake occurred just days later. The quake experiment helped my children to have a grasp on what an earthquake is and how it effects people.

This week we simulated an oil spill in a pan of water. The children then used different items to clean the water to see what was most effective. They tried a medicine dropper, paper towels, cotton balls, a spoon, and dish washing detergent. We also read books and looked at photos of oil spills. My 5 year old nephew was visiting that day, so even he got in on the action. The oil spill experiment sparked lots of discussion about how oil spills could effect wildlife and how hard it could be to clean up the environment again.

Yesterday my oldest dissected a crawfish with a friend. Our semester of science is up and running.

In the middle of chaos...

The last year has been a crazy time of trying to get the house on the market. And then, after much work and anticipation, the house went on the market and ...
nothing.
So, here we sit waiting with the house staged and everything perfect for showing. It makes for a pristine home and is very trying when you like cozy clutter and homeschool.
So, we are back to the books, even though I had packed them up and hoped we'd be moved out by now.
I think I should write a book about homeschooling in chaos. Suprisingly, the children are doing very well. They take it all in stride and keep learning - even when my idea of organized is challenged by selling a house.
Whit is starting his kindergarten year and is all excited about learning to read. He has memorized, The Spooky Old Tree, and reads it to us. I really need to get that on camera. It is adorable.
Addie is in 4th grade this year and has taken off with a bang. She is reading books so quickly, still writing a lot, working on her piano skills, and loving the math.
While I can't wait to be more settled - I am trying to enjoy the moments as they come and go.
It is still a great journey, even with the curves and hills!