That Moment Before You Reach the Top of the Hill on a Roller Coaster...

I have always loved the "back-to-school" season. I love the school supplies. I love the end of summer when your thoughts begin to turn to picking apples and buying new pencils with fresh erasers. I usually feel energized and excited. So, it is with a sense of bewilderment that I write this entry. Our co-op starts back this Friday and the overwhelming feeling I have is that of being on a roller coaster that is about to crest the hill and begin the free fall. Is it really true that the older you get, the faster time flies? I am beginning to wonder. Can it really be August already?
I am not depressed that school is starting back, but I am not my usual excited self about it either. I am seeking some source of inspiration to help me get my mojo back.
Maybe the weather still feels too hot and muggy. Maybe I need some more down time. Maybe I just need to increase my coffee consumption.
Sometimes when I read blogs and facebook updates, everyone else's life sounds so lovely and uncomplicated. Glossy photos of special moments, well-written descriptions of crafts and special projects - I know that I also post these moments. Most of us do not post the pics of our family in disarray, the dirty dishes, the scattered unopened mail, the laundry pile up. I will admit that I like to stay positive online. Reading depressing commentary is not what I like to take in when I have free time to spend on the computer. However, maybe it is alright to mention that our lives aren't always an endless parade of Kodak moments and creativity. Sometimes we are tired. We are uninspired. We have too much to do and not enough time to do it. Sometimes life is like that. So, I am taking this opportunity to claim my feelings - to own up to feeling not quite ready for the coming school year. I wish I had a month to organize my home. I wish I had some vacation time to take off of work. I wish I had some more funds in the larder to create possibilities. I wish all of these things, but I know that, somehow, things will work out, even without wish fulfillment. Even in the writing of this, I feel better. Sometimes the fear you feel before the drop on the other side of the hill is worth the exhilaration of the free fall on the other side. So, here it is, August 5, 2013. Who knows what is to come this school year? Sometimes it is in the letting go of the ideal that we find out what we really need and what we can get by without, and this is not a bad thing. So, I wait for the free fall and hope for inspiration.