Parks and Recreation

Don't be too quick to discount the social question when it comes to homeschooling. I realize it is an overused and often times belabored point, but social opportunities are a big deal to many kids, sometimes, more than the parents even realize.

It can be pretty easy to make opportunities for making friends, but, like almost everything else in life, it starts with intention.

When you are making your plans for math, reading, and other academic endeavors, do not forget to plan for friends. We all need friendships to enrich our lives. I have tried to be intentional in giving my children the chance to giggle over silly jokes, learn hand clapping games, and discover the fun of playing in the woods with their peers.

Make sure you schedule some down time to meet new friends and cultivate the old ones. Plan a summer movie date and invite the others in your homeschool group, meet in the park for play, or invite a new friend over for some summer fun in the backyard. In the hustle and bustle of our homeschool years, it can help to schedule this down time on your calendar. Yes, actually write in days that are "black out dates" for free play with other children. This is a valuable part of the growing up experience. While you are at it, make sure to include new people in your homeschool group who are looking for a chance to fit in. Model for your children how it looks to build community and value other people.

It can be tempting to become an island in the hectic pace of home education, but take the time to meet friends and influence people. You will be glad you did.

The Best Parenting Advice I Can Offer

My children are quickly growing up. My oldest will turn 15 in two weeks. The time really does go by so fast. I often have people ask me questions about parenting. I really like both of my children and enjoy spending time with my teenager (I enjoy spending time with my 10 year old as well, but people seem less surprised by that.) When I think about my parenting journey, I can recall a time in my life when I experienced a paradigm shift that changed the way I saw our home life.

When my daughter was two, she used to throw massive tantrums. Really. People who know her now think I made this up, but, I was there and I can promise you that she gave me a run for my money. I was frustrated and felt like a failure as a parent. I was angry that she was so difficult to live with and I really questioned if having a second child would be a good idea and something that I could handle. I read LOTS of parenting books and asked lots of questions and attended parenting conferences in an attempt to figure out what other people were doing and what might work to restore my sanity and bring peace to our home. I won't bore you with the details of every step in that process, let me just skip to the bottom line. 

I realized that many people have the mentality that it is the kid(s) vs. the parent(s). The strong willed child has pitted herself against you and you must find a way to subdue her. Let me tell you that this is the most damaging way of looking at your parent-child relationship. What I discovered is that this mindset of being the one in "control" and having to bring your little ones into submission is setting your home up to be a battlefield. Let me assure you that it is not parents vs. kids or kids vs. parents. It is a family vs. the problems and challenges the world throws at you. You and your child are on the same team. This may sound simple, but it changed my life. 

When you realize that loving a child (or a spouse for that matter) means that you are on the same team and that loving someone means that you are actively pursuing growth and nurturing for that person's best self - you are already more than half way to a more peaceful home life. Stop trying to control your child or have the last word and embrace a paradigm that allows you to be you and them to be them. There is so much more to this concept, but the first step is to realize that you are on the same team. 

A few books that are helpful is pursuing a non-adversarial parenting style are:

Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka

The Successful Child by William and Martha Sears 

The Natural Child: Parenting From the Heart by Jan Hunt

Positive Parenting for a Peaceful World by Ruth Tod

Hope is the thing with feathers...

     

Hope is the thing with feathers 

That perches in the soul, 

And sings the tune--without the words, 

And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard; 

And sore must be the storm 

That could abash the little bird 

That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chillest land, 

And on the strangest sea; 

Yet, never, in extremity, 

It asked a crumb of me.

Emily Dickinson

We are pressing onward. In the midst of chronic illness and other related trials, I am gifted with hope for the future and hope that we will see the end of this particular run of challenges soon. I keep thinking to myself, that the only way through is forward. Surely on the other side of this week, this month, this year, there will be a lessening of pressing stresses and life can return to a more "normal" pace.

Whit has started weekly injections, weekly blood work, more daily medications, and is still getting his infusions and supplements. He feels good today. It is hard to predict what each day will be like. We are living with the constant up and down of good days followed by bad days followed by awful days followed by a great day. This is the kind of schedule that really teaches you to enjoy the small things in life - quiet moments of cuddling on the couch, reading books out loud together, laughter, beauty, love...

People are so kind. Lots of people ask about Whit. The neighborhood where we live has nice places to walk. The shop owners ask about him when they see me out and about. My wonderful, encouraging co-workers are always checking in with me to see how the week is going. My family is incredibly helpful and supportive. I have friends that are always checking up on me. I am grateful.

I have hesitated to write much about Whit's health issues. There is his privacy to consider. I also feel unsure about how much to share of my personal feelings about his illness for many reasons. But, recently, I began to search for blogs and information about children with severe ulcerative colitis and related auto immune disease issues. I did not find much. What I did find was incredibly encouraging to me. It was so affirming to read about other's experiences with their children and how they have coped. This made me feel that maybe it would help someone else to put myself out there. Whit's combination of diseases does not get that much press. He has celiac disease, severe food allergies, ulcerative colitis, and asthma. Right now, it is the ulcerative colitis that is causing him so many problems. His colon is ulcerated and will bleed out if he is not treated. The struggle since his disease went active again in September, has been to control his bleeding, pain, and other symptoms. He has to be on steroids that cause swelling, weight gain, emotional swings, and sleeplessness. His medications can affect his liver and he has to have weekly blood work to check his liver numbers. They also destroy his immune system.

Maybe I will take this post down at some point, but for now, I feel it is okay to post about our family and our struggle with ulcerative colitis. Whit is running out of time to be on the steroids. You cannot take them long term. He is stepping down now. Over the next few weeks, he will be tapered off of them completely and the infusions and injections will need to sustain his progress. If not, we will be facing some big decisions about how to continue his treatment. We are hoping for the best. As I listened to the birds singing outside my window, as spring creeps in, I was reminded that hope is the thing with feathers. I do hope this spring brings a new season of health to my Whit.

There and Back Again

After a two week experiment with trying a different approach to education, we are back to The Rivendell School for both of my children.
The experience of listening, trying something new, expanding our horizons, and finding our place again has been well worth the stress.
I am amazed at how much I have learned in the past two weeks. It is apparent that my children have learned a lot as well. Of course, I am not talking about academic learning - but learning of the spirit. We have had some fabulous conversation, soul searching, and self-examination. All of this has been very tiring, but very productive as well.
We are now ready to meet the bend in the road with new enthusiasm and direction. A lot of growing up, grieving, and letting go has happened in a few short weeks.
And... here we are... together again for a new school year. It feels like we are starting fresh - like we never went to school for 3 weeks in one paradigm and then 2 in another. It all feels new. In a way, it is. We have left our old curriculum behind. We are embracing a new part of our journey together and we are wiser for having spent this time exploring educational options. So, we will take a holiday for some breathing in and then move onward and upward.
A funny thing happened a few weeks ago. The children were in the yard playing on the rope swing and their laughter was coming to me clear and sweet from the window. It felt like a "snapshot" moment - like I was saving up the beauty of that second in time. I remember feeling a bit nervous - like I was experiencing some moment of perfection before a storm. I am often intuitive that way. The very next day, we experienced some educational upheaval that changed things for us and has taken most of our time for the past few weeks.  Today, as the period of disruption came to a close, the children were sitting together on the sofa and I was in the other room. The sound of their spontaneous laughter came to me and I immediately remembered that moment a few weeks ago. It was the first time since that day that I have consciously taken in the sound of their happiness. It is the bookends on this experience. It felt like closure. It also reminded me that laughter goes on. Life will change and seasons will come and go, but laughter lives on.

Brave New World

Sometimes life takes you by surprise. I cannot really go into that much detail on the why, how, and where of this cryptic statement except to say that we are trying a new experiment in our home education journey.

There have been some changes, some life shifts, some truth seeking, and we are dipping our toes into new waters.

The danger of encouraging your children to think for themselves is that they will. Sometimes they may even come up with their own conclusions and want to try their plan their way. Sometimes they even ask nicely and have some thoughts on how to go about it. Sometimes you should listen. This is a big lesson I learned in our first month of school this year. I love that I can still be taught, even if, sometimes, the lessons hurt a little. It is hard to let go of your children - even for their small steps to independence.

I love both of my children so much that I cannot really express it in words. I want to love them in ways that feel like love to them. I know that people feel love in different ways - and sometimes it is easy to love people in the way that you know how - and hard to learn the way that feels most like love to that person you want so desperately to show love to. I hope that I keep learning the ways of love. I hope that I can show love in ways that are meaningful to the people I love, even if it is difficult to figure out and challenging to follow up on.

A quote I have long admired and pondered comes to mind:

“The beginning of love is the will to let those we love be perfectly themselves, the resolution not to twist them to fit our own image. If in loving them we do not love what they are, but only their potential likeness to ourselves, then we do not love them: we only love the reflection of ourselves we find in them.”  - Thomas Merton

Parenting Books Part Two: The Young Child

The previous post contains my favorite parenting books to read when you have a baby or toddler. As your child grows and changes, here are a few more titles to consider.

Beyond the Rainbow Bridge: Nurturing Our Children from Birth to Seven by Patterson and Bradley


This book is a delight to read. It is full of ideas on how to provide your child with a wonder-filled, nurturing, early childhood experience.

Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, and Energetic by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
This title was a life-saver when my daughter was two and three. She had intense mood swings and tantrums that seemed to come from nowhere. I felt powerless to help her with her "big feelings". I credit this book with teaching me some emotional coaching skills that have served me in every age and stage since. Mary Sheeda Kurcinka also has other titles to explore. If you are struggling with how to deal with your child's emotions or intensity, this may be just the thing.

I have linked the titles of these books to Amazon. I hope that helps you read more reviews or buy a copy for your personal library. Speaking of libraries, your local library may have these titles on tap, so check there first. I hope these titles inspire you towards gentle and conscious parenting. Enjoy the journey!

Baby Steps: Returning to the Cradle, Parenting Books Part One

Working in a library, I get many requests for book recommendations. This week, I have had several people ask me about parenting books. I am always a little hesitant to recommend parenting books. As someone once said, "The problem with parenting by the book is that you would need a different book for each child." I believe this is true. There is no book that will give you every piece of wisdom needed for parenting your little one. Your heart wisdom, a deep knowledge of your child, and a little common sense goes a long way. That being said, there is a selection of books that I found helpful at different ages and stages along my parenting journey. I caution you to take each book with a grain of salt. I am not saying I did everything these books suggested - some may even contradict each other in places. But, I believe there are nuggets of genius in these titles and a wealth of things to add to your parenting toolbox. So, here are a few of my favorites from my baby years. I hope you can be encouraged and inspired.
The Attachment Parenting Book by William and Martha Sears

You Are Your Child's First Teacher by Rahima Baldwin Dancy

Montessori From the Start by Paula Polk Lillard and Lynn Lillard Jessen

Charlotte's Web: The Right Book at the Right Time - Stories for the Nine Year Change

Bedtime story time has evolved from year to year at my house. My children are now 9 (almost 10) and 14. I believe that bedtime rituals are still just as important as ever - including the bedtime story. During the school year, we used the Oak Meadow Folk Tales book for most bedtime stories. I wondered if my son was still enjoying the nightly ritual or if, at nine years old, he was growing out of it.
Imagine my delight when a mother of one of his friends came by to see me one and day and asked if I could tell her what folk tale book we had been reading. She had heard my son telling her son about it in the car when she was taking them on an outing recently. She reported that my son had gone into great detail about the stories and the candle we lit when we sat down to read. Her son had later asked to begin this ritual. Apparently, nine year old boys still love bedtime stories!
I was amazed that he had shared this with a friend. Not only did he love the ritual, he felt confident about sharing it. I have to admit that my storyteller heart rejoiced.
As the school year wound to a close, I realized that there were several books that I had hoped to read aloud that we just had not been able to squeeze in. With the farming theme present in the third grade year, I decided we just couldn't leave off without reading Charlotte's Web. I knew he had heard it read aloud when he was younger and his sister was listening to it, but I love that book so much, I decided to try it and see what happened.
Thus began a sweet and tender time for a mother and son in the midst of the nine year change. Each chapter is so real and so in tune to this time in a child's life. I could feel the authenticity of it as we read aloud each night before bed. As Wilbur matures and understands the facts about life, as Fern changes and leaves her barnyard friends behind - thus is the life of the nine year old. There are so many parallels in this story to the struggles of being nine. Children feel keenly this "dying" of early childhood and rebirth into the older child. Something about turning "double digits" is a rite of passage. I know that he had heard the basic story before and even remembered bits and pieces from hearing it read aloud years earlier. But, there is a magic in hearing the right story at the right time, an affirming of your inner life that you do not get from other tales. I felt privileged to watch it unfold. I urge parents not to push children to grow up too soon. Do not rush to read a book just because they "can" read the book and do not give up on bedtime stories. There is a magic in a story candle lit in a darkening room. A spell that weaves around the child when the story is a perfect match for the age and stage. This is the "sweet spot" of children's literature - bibliotherapy at its best.

Will Work for Peace

Tis the night before Thanksgiving and I am contemplating the deep thankfulness I feel for my children and the lessons they teach me along the journey together. I thought I would teach them, I didn't realize how much I would be learning FROM them. Peace starts at home. When I began the path to gentle, non-violent parenting, I had no idea how the seed of that ideal would take root and grow in our family. My socially conscience children are always surprising me with the ways they incorporate peace in our daily lives. They struggle with the hard work of it, just like I do, but they bring such an openness to the table. My twelve year old recently was sharing with me how she found it difficult to remember to be peaceful on the playground when her brother was being bullied. Her instinct was telling her to strike out and pay back insult for insult. I appreciate her protective instincts for her brother, but imagine my delight when she told me that she immediately thought of why the aggressor might be acting that way and what was going on with him to cause his behaviour. Over a period of several weeks, both of my children had many conversations about this child both together and with me and my husband. We put a lot of time into talking over scenarios and solutions that could be a win-win for both parties. The verbal bullying continued for a couple of weeks, but after my children went out of their way to make positive remarks, model good communication, and practiced some peace making strategies, things began to improve. Now the child in question is counted a friend. They play together and have a lot of fun. I am not trying to over-simplify the massive bullying problem we have these days, only feeling proud of a small inroad made by my two sweeties. Peace really does begin at home. When we model appropriate responses to injustice and problems in the world, the children will follow. They may even lead the way.

Free Range Children

I was at the zoo the other day with my children. As we headed toward the naked mole rat exhibit (a strange, but interesting site), a group of children passed us with zoo camp shirts on. They were kindergarten age and were with a zoo camp class. The two instructors were keeping up a running dialogue at the children as they walked by holding a rope to keep their place in the line. "Walk a little faster, turn to the front, stop staring and keep walking, no talking here please, do you guys want snack because you won't have time for it if you don't walk faster than this..." on and on it went as the five year old kids walked on by. I was a bit taken aback at the severe tone of these camp leaders. The children were being very quiet and were only naturally distracted by looking at the animals they were passing. I had looked at the camps online and thought they sounded interesting with neat topics and activities listed. They were a bit expensive, so we hadn't signed up. Watching the leaders with this very young group of campers made me glad we didn't.

Why do so many adults feel they must keep up a running commentary at children about their every behaviour? I wonder how we would feel if someone walked along side us everywhere with a constant stream of chastisement? Why not just be pleasant and treat children like real people instead of inmates or second class citizens? I taught kindergarten for five years and worked in a daycare for a great many more before having my own children. I know it is not an easy job. But, is it really that hard to see children as real people?

It is a self-defeating cycle. When we are treated this way as children, it creates a need to lord our own superiority over others. Then, when we become the adults, we feel it is our due to treat children in this belittling way. It saddens me a great deal to see this being repeated over and over in our society. Are we so insecure that the only way to feel important is to become a tyrant and to push our own agenda on the children? Children are not made to be silent for hours at a time, to walk in straight and silent lines, to eat lunch in silence (as is the practice in many of our schools), or to go all day without active play and exploration. Children are citizens of our world and are due our respect as fellow human beings.

I want my children to be "free range" children. I don't want them to have to stifle every impulsive word and walk in straight lines, raise their hands to ask permission to go the bathroom (a basic human function!), or have someone stand over them with a running commentary on what they are doing wrong. I want a free range life for all children. I am not advocating the loss of boundaries or encouraging bad behaviour. I am only asking for a humane approach. Express to the children what your expectations are in simple and polite language, give them room to question you in a respectful way, ask them what could improve the class or camp and really listen. This is not as hard as it sounds. I use these and other strategies in my experiences teaching in a school setting, working with children in a library setting, and parenting my own. They really work. When working with children, it is best for us to follow our own rules, treat them the way you would want to be treated. Don't yell at them if you don't allow them to yell back, etc.

I hope for a better future for children. I hope my continued efforts to parent peacefully leave at least two more peaceful souls on this planet. I hope my continued work with the children of my community will give them the confidence they need to treat others kindly and with compassion and peace. I hope that if you are reading this post, that you will challenge yourself to reflect on the way you interact with the children in your life. Take another step towards peaceful and non-punitive interactions with the little ones in your life. You won't be sorry you did.

The Art of Educational Balance

We have officially completed sixth grade and first grade this year (2010-2011) for my children. If you have read any of my other posts, you will know that we have unschooled, Waldorf homeschooled, sampled classical homeschool, dabbled at Montessori, and taken a helping of Charlotte Mason. We have led a nature-esque co-op for a year (last school year), that met at a local park on the river, we have tried a classical class once a week (last Fall), and we have been in Excalibur for this past year (the co-op hailed in my last post). Purist, we are not. One thing has remained steady throughout our eclectic curricula, and that is the element of choice. I have tried to keep my children on a path of their choosing. This has had its moments of faltering and its moments of triumph, but it is an educational value I still cling to.

This past year has been a season of balance for me. Balancing the needs and preferences of two children who are at very different places in their educational journeys. One is anxious to tackle the rigors of increased academic challenge and has a love for languages that astounds. She has completed a course in Spanish and in Latin this past year. She is attending the "Let's Speak Spanish" programs at the local library to "keep her Spanish up" before co-op classes start again in August. She has challenged herself to pick up the sign language her brother is learning and is making plans to add another foreign language in the next two years (she is thinking of French, Italian, or... Mandarin - go figure:). She is also working on the next level of latin over the summer. When the Summer Reading Challenge at the local library asked the students to read 25 hours over the summer, she quickly adjusted her personal challenge to 50 hours and told me that as a bonus, the reading had to be done in more than one language. I see a future as a translator or a teacher (in almost any country). Of course, she could suprise us and move on to other pursuits. I always like to leave the door open for change. I don't like to label the kids too early (or at all, actually:).

My other child has come to reading in his own way. After discovering this past winter, that he really does think way outside the box and has some challenges in the way he sees print and interprets it, we made changes in our approach. He has such a desire to be able to read, but has struggled to understand decoding and being able to see and hear differences in words. For him, personal choice has evolved into much more structure. He wants to be able to read well and this recquires a new way of learning for him. Enter the Orton Gillingham, multi-sensory approach. With the structured lessons of the PAF program, he has made more progress in three months than he had in the past three years towards learning to read. Does he love sitting down every day for "book work" and painstakingly printing out letters? No. I will be honest, it is hard work for him and for me. When he balks, I remind him of his goal (to read whatever he wants, including chapter books, informational books on wildlife, etc.), and he presses on with a good will. This has really taught me the place for workbooks and lesson plans. Still, it all comes down to choice. He wants to learn to read well. (He has been harping on it for years - when will I be able to read... (fill in the blank) . He has a very strong personal drive to get there.) So, this past semester has included more structured lesson plans. We follow a very regimented, scientific approach to his reading, and, it is working. He is delighted with his progress, which is huge, because it spurs him on when the work is hard and slow. I have also developed an appreciation for reading later rather than earlier. His observation skills are amazing. Most of us can read and so we rely on reading for the majority of our information input. We rely on signs that tell us where things are in public places, we read the headlines while waiting in line for coffee, we read brochures and instructions. When you can't rely on these things for information, you notice all the little details that clue you in on what is happening and how to respond. He is always the first to notice the details and has a crazy knack for remembering information. For instance, we pull up to the Chick-fil-A drive thru. As I scan the menu for our order, he says, "I wonder what is broken here at the Chick-fil-A?" "What do you mean?" I ask, looking around to see what is broken. "The repair man is here," he says and then adds, "Oh, it must the air conditioner." (I am still looking around for something broken, and now, the repair man. "Why do you say that?", I ask him. "Because there is a repair truck here that is not in a regular parking space and the lock on the ladder at the side of the building is off and open. So, someone must be on the roof, it is probably the repair man. The air conditioner is on the roof, I see part of it, so I bet it is the air conditioner that is broken." When we pulled forward for my order, it was confirmed by the girl in the window. The air conditioner was indeed broken and the repair man was on the roof.

From our unschooling roots to structured Orton Gillingham reading instruction, our homeschool path has led us on a scenic route. We find our balance as we go, adding and subtracting formal instruction and interest driven projects on the way. Homeschooling has been an exercise in trust; Trust that the children can live a life of meaning and substance now and not just when they are "grown up". I can see the fruits of our method. At first, it was our shot in the dark, but the light has dawned even brighter than I could have hoped and I couldn't be happier with the results. The varied interests, the determination to challenge yourself, the rich home life and relationships, and the ability to cater your education to your own ideas of success. The benefits we have experienced go on and on. As we plot our next phase of the journey, my daughter transitions into 7th grade and my son into 2nd. He has a present interest in antiques and wildlife. She is enjoying bohemian fashion and wants to try kayaking. I am reading up on homesteading and intentional communites and planning a sewing day soon. My husband is reading a memoir of 18 months of living in an Amish/Mennonite community and reading new books out loud to the children at night. Ahhhh... life is good.

In Which I Return to My Homeschool Roots

When we first started homeschooling, seven years ago, I was convinced that my children would learn naturally. I read John Holt and John Taylor Gatto, we joined an unschooling support group and we were off. Those were the days...

Six years ago, my husband started having health problems, our son was diagnosed with celiac disease, food allergies, and colitis, and life as we knew it started to unravel. Looking back, I realize that we went into crisis mode out of necessity. I had to take a full time job and I continued to homeschool. My husband, home often from work with illness, took the daytime routine with the children. Our lives changed drastically. As time went on and time and money were tight, our days took on more stucture. We used more "curriculum" options and assigned more work to make sure the children were exposed to a wide range of things. We read books in Doctor's office waiting rooms, we did Math in workbooks, and we SCHOOLED. The children were learning things. We were surviving.

Fast forward to today - alot of things have changed for us in the past two years. My husband is doing much better health-wise. My son has had his best year yet, and life is better for all of us. I was able to go part time at work with the return of my husband's health. More time for homeschooling, more time for everything...and then, the middle school panic set in.

I think this must be a well traveled trail in the homeschool world. As the 6th grade year starts, parents panic and the "what-if's" set in. What if I haven't done enough? What if they can't get into the college they want to? What if...? This year, the middle school panic caused me to do some pretty crazy things, like sign my children up for two homeschool co-ops/class days. We have always been relaxed homeschoolers with plenty of time at home for reading, crafts, and hanging out together. Since we have never really done the class thing, I thought this would be a good year to try it out. It all sounded so reasonable and organized when I did it. The children could try out the class thing and I would have a guideline to follow for the year.

In reality, things have turned out differently than I expected. We have learned so much - just not what I thought we would learn. For one thing, all the classes, co-ops and clubs got out of hand quickly. Suddenly we were running around too much, too much hurrying, too much gas in the car, too much of too much! When we had a ripple in our home life (a few rough weeks with various things breaking down and causing repairs to cars and home), things really got out of hand. My stress level was high, the children weren't getting enough sleep, and our cozy homeschool world was seriously out of balance. The children talked about the "things we used to do", like take morning walks together and light the "morning circle candle" before singing together at breakfast. Now we didn't have time for these things, we were packing in cereal before running to the car. We were too busy chanting latin verbs to sing and too busy getting ready for weekly presentations to take walks.

Somewhere in all of this madness, the thought came to me that the children had never even asked for a class or co-op. They were quite happy with our old homeschooling ways. It is certainly true that they were being exposed to new things and learning things that we hadn't covered yet at home, but I had to wonder if the trade off was worth it.

In the end, I came to my senses and did what I should have done from the start. I actually asked my children what they thought. I asked them what was working for them and what they liked or enjoyed about their new schedule and what they didn't. I also decided to re-read the books that I had enjoyed and that had originally shaped my homeschooling philosophy. I decided to return to my homeschool roots. Instead of cramming facts into my children, I gave them a few weeks off and tried homeschooling myself instead. I also decided to let them decide for themselves what they wanted to keep, change, or do away with.

I started by reading one of my favorite John Holt books, "What Do I Do Monday?". I was struck again by the wisdom and common sense of listening and trusting the children. Radical trust used to be the name of the game at our house, how had things gotten off track? I followed this book up with David Albert's, "Homeschooling and the Voyage of Self-Discovery: A Journey of Original Seeking". Both of these books are beautiful, insightful and lovely to read and ponder.

Returning to my roots infused our homeschool with a freshness and vitality that put us back on the right track. Now the children are, once again, in charge of their own educational journey. After several weeks of pondering and decision making, we dropped a few clubs and support group activities, had one child who dropped one morning of classes but kept the other, and one child who, for the moment, chooses to keep attending both days of classes and co-ops. So, our experiment this year with co-ops and classes was educational for all of us. While we may have learned new facts in history and science, Latin and Spanish, the most important lesson was to trust the children and to do what is right for your family as well as for each child. Now we light the "morning circle candle" once again, and we have taken back up those family walks as well.

Spiderman or No Spiderman, That Is the Question...

The children don't watch TV (only DVD's that we own), we don't have any spiderman books, he has never seen the movie, so, how did this superhero swing into our home?
Despite our best efforts to encourage wholesome toys and quality resources, the web slinger somehow crept in. My son sees him at the store and somehow, instinctively knows his name. He shoots webs from his wrist and runs around pretending to swing from buildings. I held out at first, steering him to wooden toys, swearing off Toys R'Us, and trying to avoid the merchandising as best we could. Finally, I succumbed to the t-shirt. I don't want to be remembered as the Mom who would NEVER buy the shirt he wanted. So, spiderman has come home to roost - or should I say come home to crawl? While I still avoid the plastic toys and refuse to let my son watch the violent movies or cartoons, he has the t-shirt.
Have I sold out?
I prefer to think of it as choosing my battles. A little superhero play is good for the ego and spiderman is probably the lesser of superhero evils. I still am very frustrated by the marketing of violent movies and their merchandise to little kids. But, I am trying to find my balance in this, as in everything else.
In the meantime, I hope that indulging the urge to sling webs may let the fascination run its natural course, and dare I hope, die a natural death? I see how he loves nature, wooden blocks, and books, so hopefully a little superhero action is just a piece of the puzzle.