Revolution starts at home...

The Bremen Town Musicians

I was treated to a puppet show this morning. The Bremen Town Musicians was playing at the theatre down the hall. They haven't played with the puppet theatre in ages, so it was fun to see it open once again. As the children get older, I find sitting and watching performances of home theatre, whether it is a live performance of a Twilight Zone episode or an impromptu puppet show, especially endearing. It was an excellent show, I gave it 5 stars. *****

Free Range Children

I was at the zoo the other day with my children. As we headed toward the naked mole rat exhibit (a strange, but interesting site), a group of children passed us with zoo camp shirts on. They were kindergarten age and were with a zoo camp class. The two instructors were keeping up a running dialogue at the children as they walked by holding a rope to keep their place in the line. "Walk a little faster, turn to the front, stop staring and keep walking, no talking here please, do you guys want snack because you won't have time for it if you don't walk faster than this..." on and on it went as the five year old kids walked on by. I was a bit taken aback at the severe tone of these camp leaders. The children were being very quiet and were only naturally distracted by looking at the animals they were passing. I had looked at the camps online and thought they sounded interesting with neat topics and activities listed. They were a bit expensive, so we hadn't signed up. Watching the leaders with this very young group of campers made me glad we didn't.

Why do so many adults feel they must keep up a running commentary at children about their every behaviour? I wonder how we would feel if someone walked along side us everywhere with a constant stream of chastisement? Why not just be pleasant and treat children like real people instead of inmates or second class citizens? I taught kindergarten for five years and worked in a daycare for a great many more before having my own children. I know it is not an easy job. But, is it really that hard to see children as real people?

It is a self-defeating cycle. When we are treated this way as children, it creates a need to lord our own superiority over others. Then, when we become the adults, we feel it is our due to treat children in this belittling way. It saddens me a great deal to see this being repeated over and over in our society. Are we so insecure that the only way to feel important is to become a tyrant and to push our own agenda on the children? Children are not made to be silent for hours at a time, to walk in straight and silent lines, to eat lunch in silence (as is the practice in many of our schools), or to go all day without active play and exploration. Children are citizens of our world and are due our respect as fellow human beings.

I want my children to be "free range" children. I don't want them to have to stifle every impulsive word and walk in straight lines, raise their hands to ask permission to go the bathroom (a basic human function!), or have someone stand over them with a running commentary on what they are doing wrong. I want a free range life for all children. I am not advocating the loss of boundaries or encouraging bad behaviour. I am only asking for a humane approach. Express to the children what your expectations are in simple and polite language, give them room to question you in a respectful way, ask them what could improve the class or camp and really listen. This is not as hard as it sounds. I use these and other strategies in my experiences teaching in a school setting, working with children in a library setting, and parenting my own. They really work. When working with children, it is best for us to follow our own rules, treat them the way you would want to be treated. Don't yell at them if you don't allow them to yell back, etc.

I hope for a better future for children. I hope my continued efforts to parent peacefully leave at least two more peaceful souls on this planet. I hope my continued work with the children of my community will give them the confidence they need to treat others kindly and with compassion and peace. I hope that if you are reading this post, that you will challenge yourself to reflect on the way you interact with the children in your life. Take another step towards peaceful and non-punitive interactions with the little ones in your life. You won't be sorry you did.

Antique Bowls and Baby Birds

There is an antique store near our home. It is a junky looking place surrounded by a fence and situated on the corner of a busy intersection. We pass it almost daily. There is a large fountain out by the road that sports a classical statue of a scantily clad Roman girl. My children think it is quite funny. There is an assortment of old bathtubs, yard gnomes playing cards, rusty chairs, and many more eccentricities. We generally have to sit at the light for a few minutes and the view is really better than an "I Spy" book.

The other day a new addition had arrived... and by new, I mean, well, quite old....

An antique carriage was sitting there, just inside the gate. Exclamations of approval and fascination came from the back seat. My son, with his little face pressed against the glass begged, "Can we go?"

The antique store had really just been part of the scenery - something to ponder while sitting in traffic, but now, with this question, it had the potential to be a destination. Since we were on the way somewhere and pushed for time, a visit wasn't possible, but... the idea had taken hold.

The next few days were marked by the persistence of my son and his drive to see the carriage first hand. He was also intrigued by the two large brick buildings on site. If the outside held such wonders, what would the inside hold?

We finally made a family trip to the antique store. The children both enjoyed the array of oddities in the yard. A closer inspection than the car had afforded yielded a vast wonderland of strange and wonderful objects. It was a living history lesson. The buildings were full of treasures from yesteryear, a typewriter that fascinated my daughter, a statue of a stag, very old toys like the circus train from the early 1900's, (we had seen one very similar at a toy exhibit at a museum in Virginia), and much, much more. As we picked our way through the precariously piled history, we reached the back of the warehouse.

A strange sound met our ears, and for a moment, I feared we were about to meet a creature of the rodent variety, but upon venturing forth, we discovered the most cunning little family of baby birds. They were so tiny, perfect, and adorable - really, really adorable. They were hopping about and practicing flying. They couldn't get off the ground much, but were using the antique china serving bowls as little jumping off points. They would jump and flutter their wings out and come to rest nearby, only to try and hop back up for another go. The children, and I must say, my husband and myself, were enchanted.

They were so close to us, we could have touched them, though we refrained (barely!). And then, to up the cute factor even more, the Mother arrived in the window high up on the back wall. She was carrying a little wormy thing in her mouth. She made a big show of flapping about and scolding, so we backed off around the corner of an old hutch and she approached one of her offspring that was perched on an antique fire fighter's helmet. The little bird took the worm from her in a lightning fast bite and then she was off again.

Here we were enjoying a nature and history adventure... all because we kept our eyes open to the world around us... or at least my children did. I probably would have just kept driving by that place... forever.

The Art of Educational Balance

We have officially completed sixth grade and first grade this year (2010-2011) for my children. If you have read any of my other posts, you will know that we have unschooled, Waldorf homeschooled, sampled classical homeschool, dabbled at Montessori, and taken a helping of Charlotte Mason. We have led a nature-esque co-op for a year (last school year), that met at a local park on the river, we have tried a classical class once a week (last Fall), and we have been in Excalibur for this past year (the co-op hailed in my last post). Purist, we are not. One thing has remained steady throughout our eclectic curricula, and that is the element of choice. I have tried to keep my children on a path of their choosing. This has had its moments of faltering and its moments of triumph, but it is an educational value I still cling to.

This past year has been a season of balance for me. Balancing the needs and preferences of two children who are at very different places in their educational journeys. One is anxious to tackle the rigors of increased academic challenge and has a love for languages that astounds. She has completed a course in Spanish and in Latin this past year. She is attending the "Let's Speak Spanish" programs at the local library to "keep her Spanish up" before co-op classes start again in August. She has challenged herself to pick up the sign language her brother is learning and is making plans to add another foreign language in the next two years (she is thinking of French, Italian, or... Mandarin - go figure:). She is also working on the next level of latin over the summer. When the Summer Reading Challenge at the local library asked the students to read 25 hours over the summer, she quickly adjusted her personal challenge to 50 hours and told me that as a bonus, the reading had to be done in more than one language. I see a future as a translator or a teacher (in almost any country). Of course, she could suprise us and move on to other pursuits. I always like to leave the door open for change. I don't like to label the kids too early (or at all, actually:).

My other child has come to reading in his own way. After discovering this past winter, that he really does think way outside the box and has some challenges in the way he sees print and interprets it, we made changes in our approach. He has such a desire to be able to read, but has struggled to understand decoding and being able to see and hear differences in words. For him, personal choice has evolved into much more structure. He wants to be able to read well and this recquires a new way of learning for him. Enter the Orton Gillingham, multi-sensory approach. With the structured lessons of the PAF program, he has made more progress in three months than he had in the past three years towards learning to read. Does he love sitting down every day for "book work" and painstakingly printing out letters? No. I will be honest, it is hard work for him and for me. When he balks, I remind him of his goal (to read whatever he wants, including chapter books, informational books on wildlife, etc.), and he presses on with a good will. This has really taught me the place for workbooks and lesson plans. Still, it all comes down to choice. He wants to learn to read well. (He has been harping on it for years - when will I be able to read... (fill in the blank) . He has a very strong personal drive to get there.) So, this past semester has included more structured lesson plans. We follow a very regimented, scientific approach to his reading, and, it is working. He is delighted with his progress, which is huge, because it spurs him on when the work is hard and slow. I have also developed an appreciation for reading later rather than earlier. His observation skills are amazing. Most of us can read and so we rely on reading for the majority of our information input. We rely on signs that tell us where things are in public places, we read the headlines while waiting in line for coffee, we read brochures and instructions. When you can't rely on these things for information, you notice all the little details that clue you in on what is happening and how to respond. He is always the first to notice the details and has a crazy knack for remembering information. For instance, we pull up to the Chick-fil-A drive thru. As I scan the menu for our order, he says, "I wonder what is broken here at the Chick-fil-A?" "What do you mean?" I ask, looking around to see what is broken. "The repair man is here," he says and then adds, "Oh, it must the air conditioner." (I am still looking around for something broken, and now, the repair man. "Why do you say that?", I ask him. "Because there is a repair truck here that is not in a regular parking space and the lock on the ladder at the side of the building is off and open. So, someone must be on the roof, it is probably the repair man. The air conditioner is on the roof, I see part of it, so I bet it is the air conditioner that is broken." When we pulled forward for my order, it was confirmed by the girl in the window. The air conditioner was indeed broken and the repair man was on the roof.

From our unschooling roots to structured Orton Gillingham reading instruction, our homeschool path has led us on a scenic route. We find our balance as we go, adding and subtracting formal instruction and interest driven projects on the way. Homeschooling has been an exercise in trust; Trust that the children can live a life of meaning and substance now and not just when they are "grown up". I can see the fruits of our method. At first, it was our shot in the dark, but the light has dawned even brighter than I could have hoped and I couldn't be happier with the results. The varied interests, the determination to challenge yourself, the rich home life and relationships, and the ability to cater your education to your own ideas of success. The benefits we have experienced go on and on. As we plot our next phase of the journey, my daughter transitions into 7th grade and my son into 2nd. He has a present interest in antiques and wildlife. She is enjoying bohemian fashion and wants to try kayaking. I am reading up on homesteading and intentional communites and planning a sewing day soon. My husband is reading a memoir of 18 months of living in an Amish/Mennonite community and reading new books out loud to the children at night. Ahhhh... life is good.

Excalibur

This year my children are enrolled in a homeschool co-op called Excalibur. If you have read my previous post, you will know that after overbooking our school year and re-organizing to accomodate what the children wanted to keep, both of my children chose to keep Excalibur. I have been so favorably impressed with our experience there, I wanted to share it with you.

The co-op meets for three hours one morning a week. The children can sign up for an instrument (piano or violin) or art class for the first hour. Everyone takes Physics for the second hour and Spanish for the third hour.

The first thing that stands out to me about Excalibur is that the children have all been treated very respectfully with a minimum of adult coerced activities. Asking questions is encouraged by word as well as action and children seem able to participate at varying levels of interest and attention span. All ages meet together except for the preschool crowd, which meets in another area.

Parents attend with their children and no mention of punishments or rewards has been made in my hearing. (Alfie Kohn would be so proud!)
Interestingly, after the first six weeks children organically began to bring items of interest apart from any adult suggestion or plan, to share with each other. For example, a child brought her baton and began to show other children how she uses it and letting them practice with hers. A boy talked with my daughter about her knitting. He crochets, so they agreed to bring their supplies and teach show each other their skills. They ended up with a small group of children sitting together swapping handiwork know-how with promises to bring supplies again next time. I suspect that this will continue till someone gets bored and suggests some new thing that might be shared.

It is true that the music, art, physics, and Spanish classes are traditional-style classes - to a degree, but they are led by people with a high interest in the area they lead and a desire to pass off what they know to others. I don't believe any of the instructors have "degrees" in what they are teaching, only an interest and love of the material.

Children sit in chairs, at tables, or on the floor to take things in with varying degrees of note-taking or just sitting listening or day dreaming.
The instructors haven't seemed anxious about keeping order or making the children behave in any sort of regimented way. So the children are free to take in what interests them. I have not observed an atmosphere of fear or much anxiety - with the possible exception of the younger children trying to write down things quickly that became hard for them. Parents on hand were quick to point out that they weren't "recquired" to write it all down and many alternative suggestions were made as to how they could proceed.
* The desired words were run off on a list that could be cut out and pasted.
* The words were written on the board for all to see and spell.
* A parent or another child wrote the words for them.
* The child doesn't write the words or worry about writing the words.
All of the children found a solution here and have not seemed concerned or anxious regarding this since.

The physics instructor often has the children act out being molecules or conducting experiments in a sort of "en masse" way that is brave on her part and brilliant for the children.
I have noted that some parents (even myself) have been occasionally concerned about bringing things to order or keeping everyone moving along uniformally. But somehow, they have, to date, pulled back and let things progress naturally, much to their credit, in my estimation.

The Spanish instructor invites questions and requests for new words. She isn't put off by odd requests (My seven year old asked her how you say, "old decrepit gerbil" in Spanish.) She has the easy demeanor hallmark of this group.

The children in this group appear at ease and comfortable. I believe this group has great potential and varied possibilities so long as the parents involved are able to resist their instinct to control and pre-plan to any greater extent and let the children remain comfortable and engaged on so many varying levels.

My children have certainly enjoyed this group. They comment that the children there are very nice and easy to be with and that they feel comfortable with the instructors and the kinds of things they do there.

In Which I Return to My Homeschool Roots

When we first started homeschooling, seven years ago, I was convinced that my children would learn naturally. I read John Holt and John Taylor Gatto, we joined an unschooling support group and we were off. Those were the days...

Six years ago, my husband started having health problems, our son was diagnosed with celiac disease, food allergies, and colitis, and life as we knew it started to unravel. Looking back, I realize that we went into crisis mode out of necessity. I had to take a full time job and I continued to homeschool. My husband, home often from work with illness, took the daytime routine with the children. Our lives changed drastically. As time went on and time and money were tight, our days took on more stucture. We used more "curriculum" options and assigned more work to make sure the children were exposed to a wide range of things. We read books in Doctor's office waiting rooms, we did Math in workbooks, and we SCHOOLED. The children were learning things. We were surviving.

Fast forward to today - alot of things have changed for us in the past two years. My husband is doing much better health-wise. My son has had his best year yet, and life is better for all of us. I was able to go part time at work with the return of my husband's health. More time for homeschooling, more time for everything...and then, the middle school panic set in.

I think this must be a well traveled trail in the homeschool world. As the 6th grade year starts, parents panic and the "what-if's" set in. What if I haven't done enough? What if they can't get into the college they want to? What if...? This year, the middle school panic caused me to do some pretty crazy things, like sign my children up for two homeschool co-ops/class days. We have always been relaxed homeschoolers with plenty of time at home for reading, crafts, and hanging out together. Since we have never really done the class thing, I thought this would be a good year to try it out. It all sounded so reasonable and organized when I did it. The children could try out the class thing and I would have a guideline to follow for the year.

In reality, things have turned out differently than I expected. We have learned so much - just not what I thought we would learn. For one thing, all the classes, co-ops and clubs got out of hand quickly. Suddenly we were running around too much, too much hurrying, too much gas in the car, too much of too much! When we had a ripple in our home life (a few rough weeks with various things breaking down and causing repairs to cars and home), things really got out of hand. My stress level was high, the children weren't getting enough sleep, and our cozy homeschool world was seriously out of balance. The children talked about the "things we used to do", like take morning walks together and light the "morning circle candle" before singing together at breakfast. Now we didn't have time for these things, we were packing in cereal before running to the car. We were too busy chanting latin verbs to sing and too busy getting ready for weekly presentations to take walks.

Somewhere in all of this madness, the thought came to me that the children had never even asked for a class or co-op. They were quite happy with our old homeschooling ways. It is certainly true that they were being exposed to new things and learning things that we hadn't covered yet at home, but I had to wonder if the trade off was worth it.

In the end, I came to my senses and did what I should have done from the start. I actually asked my children what they thought. I asked them what was working for them and what they liked or enjoyed about their new schedule and what they didn't. I also decided to re-read the books that I had enjoyed and that had originally shaped my homeschooling philosophy. I decided to return to my homeschool roots. Instead of cramming facts into my children, I gave them a few weeks off and tried homeschooling myself instead. I also decided to let them decide for themselves what they wanted to keep, change, or do away with.

I started by reading one of my favorite John Holt books, "What Do I Do Monday?". I was struck again by the wisdom and common sense of listening and trusting the children. Radical trust used to be the name of the game at our house, how had things gotten off track? I followed this book up with David Albert's, "Homeschooling and the Voyage of Self-Discovery: A Journey of Original Seeking". Both of these books are beautiful, insightful and lovely to read and ponder.

Returning to my roots infused our homeschool with a freshness and vitality that put us back on the right track. Now the children are, once again, in charge of their own educational journey. After several weeks of pondering and decision making, we dropped a few clubs and support group activities, had one child who dropped one morning of classes but kept the other, and one child who, for the moment, chooses to keep attending both days of classes and co-ops. So, our experiment this year with co-ops and classes was educational for all of us. While we may have learned new facts in history and science, Latin and Spanish, the most important lesson was to trust the children and to do what is right for your family as well as for each child. Now we light the "morning circle candle" once again, and we have taken back up those family walks as well.