Homeschooling in a time of Colitis

It has been a long time since my last entry. Sometimes life is interrupted by unforeseen circumstances - in this case, ulcerative colitis.

We have lived with ulcerative colitis for a long time. My son was diagnosed with it at three years old, for seven years he has had times of remission and times when the disease was active again. When times are good, he has enjoyed long periods of feeling energetic and healthy. When the disease flares up, times are difficult.

He has been on daily medications since he was three years. He also takes probiotics, vitamins, and eats a careful, colitis-friendly diet. Despite our best efforts, there are still flare ups.

This fall has been a long, hard battle with ulcerative colitis. It first started up again in September. We have tried many things and searched out possible reasons for why things can't seem to calm down... but we are still fighting the good fight and my son is still in the midst of pain, stomach issues, and the uncertainty of what each day will be like. It is hard for anyone to suffer from an illness with chronic pain, but for children, it can be especially challenging. It has been awhile since I have posted an entry here. Life with colitis has taken up most of our time this school year. We are now trying an infusion treatment to see if it can bring him some relief. I hope to get back to posting more soon. I hope I will have more to say about parenting and homeschooling during times of illness. At this moment, I am still pretty tired and too much in the midst of the struggle to write much.

Christmas Eve 2013

Thought a bit today about the situation surrounding the account of the birth of Christ and how it was very inconvenient. Inn's were full, heavily pregnant, low on funds (no doubt), oppressive government (not to mention no indoor plumbing, stove to heat water, or medical facilities). They were also very young and just starting out. Neither Mary or Joseph had anticipated their lives heading in that... direction. It's easy at the holidays to see perfect homes and people who have "it all together" (whatever that means) - people with healthy children and spacious homes covered in designer lights and mountains of gifts - and wish that my own life was somehow more like the photo on Christmas cards instead of the messy business it is. But, even in the mess this holiday season has been, I think I have known more of the spirit of God this year than ever before. I try to be careful what I say about this - because Jesus was probably born closer to March than December. Most of our Christmas traditions have more to do with ancient "pagan" practices than any real ties to the account of the birth of Christ. Don't get me wrong - I love Christmas - I just recognize that some of hype is more tradition than truth. But here is the truth I can sink my teeth into this year - I have struggled with my faith over the years and cycled in and out of doubt and belief. As it stands, I have more questions than answers most of the time - but I have seen strange and miraculous things in the past month. Things that can't be explained - prayers that no one knew about that were answered so specifically and repeatedly that I have been amazed - and even a bit frightened - truth be told. To watch a beloved child go through the entire fall in varying degrees of pain and to feel so uncertain of the outcome - that is a soul searching experience. All of that to say, that I have never had a holiday season quite like this one - one disaster after another, but my spirit is peaceful. My soul is thankful for each day - for each affirmation of love. I am surrounded by it - I breathe it in. I still have moments of panic and anger - but, they pass - and what is left behind is peace... and love. Maybe the inconvenience of this holiday season has been more like the account of Christ's birth and less like the modern Christmas - lot's of inconvenience, worry about a beloved son, wondering how to pay for things, and frustration with government policies (in my case, mostly related to health care) But still, a light shines in the darkness, friends brought gifts from afar, and... I am not sure there weren't angels.

There and Back Again

After a two week experiment with trying a different approach to education, we are back to The Rivendell School for both of my children.
The experience of listening, trying something new, expanding our horizons, and finding our place again has been well worth the stress.
I am amazed at how much I have learned in the past two weeks. It is apparent that my children have learned a lot as well. Of course, I am not talking about academic learning - but learning of the spirit. We have had some fabulous conversation, soul searching, and self-examination. All of this has been very tiring, but very productive as well.
We are now ready to meet the bend in the road with new enthusiasm and direction. A lot of growing up, grieving, and letting go has happened in a few short weeks.
And... here we are... together again for a new school year. It feels like we are starting fresh - like we never went to school for 3 weeks in one paradigm and then 2 in another. It all feels new. In a way, it is. We have left our old curriculum behind. We are embracing a new part of our journey together and we are wiser for having spent this time exploring educational options. So, we will take a holiday for some breathing in and then move onward and upward.
A funny thing happened a few weeks ago. The children were in the yard playing on the rope swing and their laughter was coming to me clear and sweet from the window. It felt like a "snapshot" moment - like I was saving up the beauty of that second in time. I remember feeling a bit nervous - like I was experiencing some moment of perfection before a storm. I am often intuitive that way. The very next day, we experienced some educational upheaval that changed things for us and has taken most of our time for the past few weeks.  Today, as the period of disruption came to a close, the children were sitting together on the sofa and I was in the other room. The sound of their spontaneous laughter came to me and I immediately remembered that moment a few weeks ago. It was the first time since that day that I have consciously taken in the sound of their happiness. It is the bookends on this experience. It felt like closure. It also reminded me that laughter goes on. Life will change and seasons will come and go, but laughter lives on.

Brave New World

Sometimes life takes you by surprise. I cannot really go into that much detail on the why, how, and where of this cryptic statement except to say that we are trying a new experiment in our home education journey.

There have been some changes, some life shifts, some truth seeking, and we are dipping our toes into new waters.

The danger of encouraging your children to think for themselves is that they will. Sometimes they may even come up with their own conclusions and want to try their plan their way. Sometimes they even ask nicely and have some thoughts on how to go about it. Sometimes you should listen. This is a big lesson I learned in our first month of school this year. I love that I can still be taught, even if, sometimes, the lessons hurt a little. It is hard to let go of your children - even for their small steps to independence.

I love both of my children so much that I cannot really express it in words. I want to love them in ways that feel like love to them. I know that people feel love in different ways - and sometimes it is easy to love people in the way that you know how - and hard to learn the way that feels most like love to that person you want so desperately to show love to. I hope that I keep learning the ways of love. I hope that I can show love in ways that are meaningful to the people I love, even if it is difficult to figure out and challenging to follow up on.

A quote I have long admired and pondered comes to mind:

“The beginning of love is the will to let those we love be perfectly themselves, the resolution not to twist them to fit our own image. If in loving them we do not love what they are, but only their potential likeness to ourselves, then we do not love them: we only love the reflection of ourselves we find in them.”  - Thomas Merton

This Week in Math

This week we are reviewing addition and subtraction using what we know about place value. We are also brushing up on our times tables and skip counting.
The lessons are very open ended and my son loves working math problems, so this is something that he enjoys quite a lot.
I am hoping to keep the math syllabus neat for the possibility of selling it when we are finished.
I copy the problems on to the blackboard or on to graph paper and he works them with a good will.
He can copy the problems as well, but dyslexia causes this to be a bit of a challenge. The writing is a bit slow and it is difficult for him to keep them lined up well for place value accuracy.
We vary what we use to write the problems on. The white board, the computer, the blackboard, paper, his main lesson book, or even a slip of a napkin at the coffee shop. I find that the math work is very portable and fun to do when waiting about town.
My biggest issue is getting him to add from the ones column over. He tends to do this type of problem in his head and then write it out without showing work and beginning with the highest place value spot. I am happy he can work these using mental math, but, in the interest of making good habits for harder math problems in the future, I encourage him to use the proper order and go from right to left when solving these problems.
He loves math and will do math problems for just about as long as I can keep coming up with them.

Wrapping Up Week One of Oak Meadow 4th Grade

This week we have reviewed our math facts, been on nature walks, sketched fruit from different angles, learned about the seven laws of drawing perspective, read the first five chapters of Stuart Little, examined library books on South Carolina topography, began planning our landscape/topography project by drawing maps, learned about types of maps, reviewed our basic grammar, and focused on some new sounds in our reading program.
I am sure there are other things I could add, but that seems like a pretty good list.
We have made good use of the main lesson book this week. I would like to see us add some daily summaries next week as suggested in our syllabus.
Today, on our second day of The Woodland School co-op, my son's class had some time to play games together. It was raining outside, so recess was on the screened porch with games to play. The weather was unseasonably cool for Columbia in August. I was very grateful for the break from the heat. It made me think of fall and good things to come.
Today we added in the music component of the curriculum. We are fortunate to have a music teacher in our co-op. She is teaching them the recorder, voice, percussion, and other musical lessons.
This week we will be doing some more detailed work on our topography project. I still have not decided if we are going to try and build the box or just use a plastic bin for the assignment. I would prefer the wooden box and the experience of making it, I am just not sure we will have the time to get that detailed with it.

Music class on the screened porch in the August rain.

Game time with friends at The Woodland School

 

Merging Oak Meadow with Materials Created for Dyslexic Students

I have a son with dyslexia. Dyslexia is often misunderstood and causes many children to feel like "aliens" in a world where everyone seems to know the code, but they can't crack it. I know this, because my son tells me all about it. He used to feel alienated and could not understand why he felt "different" from other people. He would say things in unusual ways, was particularly observant, keenly intelligent, but could not seem to remember his letters or how to make them form words. I was perplexed by this. I had been a tutor to children in housing projects in inner cities, taught kindergarten for years, and worked in the children's room at the library. I had read to him in utero.  What was going on?

As time went on, we had him tested. He was diagnosed with dyslexia. If any of you have ever had your child diagnosed with anything, you will identify with the sudden frenzy of reading and studying I did on dyslexia. I read everything I could get my hands on, attended workshops, went to support group meetings, local advocacy groups, watched documentaries, and sought out expert help. I am summing up a few years here, but trust me when I say, I earned a degree in dyslexia from the school of self help.

When you first have to make changes to accommodate special needs, there can be a pendulum swing phenomena. My studies brought me to the Orton Gillingham method. This is a very scientific approach to multi sensory teaching for dyslexics. It is far too much information to go into here, but it involves a systematic approach to teaching reading through multi sensory techniques. I took some training classes and got started right away.

Slogging through phonics is hard work. I knew that in my fervor to help him, my pendulum was swinging towards much more structure and academics than I was really comfortable with for a second grader. He wanted to read so badly. He tried so hard. The work was quite strenuous and he began to say he didn't like "school". This really presented quite a dilemma for me. I am solidly in the camp of delayed academics for children, with plenty of time to enjoy unstructured play, handicrafts, and time outdoors. It had been a shock to me to realize that we needed to embrace the structure of the Orton Gillingham lesson. It was the fear that was driving me now. The fear that this precious child of mine would somehow miss out on crucial things because he couldn't read. I was also missing the gentle pace of the Oak Meadow curriculum and the creative aspects that we had so enjoyed in first grade.

It was in the third grade year that my pendulum began to balance and we finally hit our stride. I was now more of an "expert" at the multi sensory lesson. I felt more comfortable with setting a slower pace. I cut back on the time we spent in reading instruction and added more creative elements and unit studies that he chose the topics for. We began to enjoy "school" again. We were able to use Oak Meadow and substitute the reading instruction with his Orton Gillingham lesson. I was able to come up with appropriate accommodations for the lessons as needed and we began to feel comfortable with dyslexia. I say that we felt comfortable because, for me, it had felt very uncomfortable, very foreign, and very intimidating. The diagnosis of dyslexia left me feeling inadequate and so uncertain about my homeschooling. For my son, I believe that the diagnosis was both a blessing and a burden. He finally had a reason as to why he felt like an "alien" as he describes it. He had a learning difference. His brain saw things just a bit differently than most of us. He also felt the things that many dyslexics go through. He felt like he was "dumb" and that he wouldn't be able to do the things that other children did at his age.  When friends were reading chapter books and discussing them, he was still struggling with very simple readers. On the other hand, his skills of observation were very acute and didn't rely on the written word. He had developed ways around reading.

Third grade continued. We did unit studies on snakes and bugs, we struggled through the Merrill Readers, we went to the museums, we broke out in a sweat over consonant blends. My son discovered Calvin and Hobbes and suddenly, just like that, there was a breakthrough in the code. I could see it happen. It was like a switch coming on and the letters suddenly aligned into something comprehensible. He stayed up late to read Calvin. His light would stay on till we had to make him turn it off. We drove down the street to a constant wonder-filled voice that read us street signs and billboards. It was a miraculous.

Reading is still hard. I don't want to give the impression that he suddenly read on grade level or that he took up War and Peace, but he is READING. Was it the multi sensory instruction, the thousands of pages read to him by his mother, father, and sister, the freedom to choose his own books and topics of study? Was there one element that brought it into focus or was it a cocktail of literature and systematic study?

I strongly believe that dyslexic children need instruction that is tailored to their specific need. I continue using an Orton Gillingham style of reading instruction and provide accommodation as needed. I believe the success we have enjoyed comes from my son's hard work, his determination to read, his thirst for knowledge, and the drive of his family to build bridges for him to travel on. In my work with the public, I see many children who need special instruction, but are not able to receive it. (There are many reasons for that, but this is not a blog post on how we can work towards that end, although it is a fabulous topic and one I spend a lot of time on.)
What I can do here is point you, my fellow traveler, towards some resources that have helped us on our way. I can also assure you that it is possible, and highly desirable, to merge a creative curriculum with systematic instruction.

The program we use for language arts (reading and writing) is called PAF, or Preventing Academic Failure. It is an Orton Gillingham based program. The teacher manual provides excellent information on the layout of a solid lesson. The lessons are laid out for you and easy to follow. The program uses the Merrill Readers, Explode the Code, and Stepping Up books. The program can be used for several years depending on where you start and how long it takes to complete.

I also use pinterest and creative bloggers to find materials to help me practice certain skills. For example, when working on "bossy r", I made games and activities to help reinforce the differences in the ar, ir, or, ur, and er sounds.

Now that we are in fourth grade, we are reading our first book in the Oak Meadow syllabus, Stuart Little. I was delighted to discover that my son can read a page or two at a time of this book without getting too overwhelmed. So, we take turns reading. We have also used audio books for required reading. Journal entries can be dictated. He can tell me what to write and I record it in his main lesson book for him. He can also copy a few sentences or trace things to label. He then illustrates the page. There are many ways to make a creative, meaningful, and scientifically sound program at home for your dyslexic child. It is not always easy. It does require hard work and patience on both the part of the child and the parent.

I hope that if you have a child with special educational needs, that you will find your stride. There are many valid and excellent choices for you to choose from. If you choose to homeschool, I hope you feel empowered knowing that you can find the resources you need to move forward. Homeschooling with learning differences is challenging and wonderful. Enjoy the journey!